why oh why.

I fantasize for what cant be with who isnt for me with a need to see how wonderful life could be if only I could throw caution to wind, and not worry about such unimportant things. But its to close to the bone to be to far from home, the gentalman you left out side for the cold to freeze needs to leave and finaly stand up for to stop such wrong doing. But with a slap to the wrist im stuck thinkin who is this could it honestly rly be me?

hope it will be ok.

Need to put the action in plan, for someone to take me by the hand and guide me right, but i cant even be bothered to do the dishies tonight and if thats as low as i go then how can i ever be right...

mybe some time off will help.

Can't resist the itch as the temptress plays her greatest hits,
and it could of been my baby
but maybe there is a time and place for the clown,
and im chasein me to catch the bastard and make him see,
this joke isnt funny any more.

Settle for lost love

Always on the run, summer with out sun,
could you be the glue to hold me in place ready for the kill,
Ready for the firing squad to shoot at will.
Generation x settled for second best,
3 bedrooms semi detached and a rain cloud with out a view.
A need to be someone else
With only a soul destroyin 9 to 5 for less then the rent,
heaven sent
and a ever growin fear that you'll always be alone a little to far from home

Good night, Always on the Run.

Harder to hold on as the warm sets in,
I feel so cold it's like i have never been.
Watchin the stars from my bed through the celling,
Hard as I try I cant shake this feeling.
Im slippin low at a fast rate, head past melted.
Dont know were to go to find release,
So i steal good times just a lonely thief.
Victim is as victim done,
Bullys steal the sunlight so I cant grow
Always on the run.
I wish I could let my heart beat once more,
But I know that one beat would be too sore.

Aye so, life....

It has been good of late, I have lost hafe a stone and havent thought of killin myself as much.... tho i do think of girls i cant have andd wonder why i didnt want them when they wanted me?? is this a curse?

Will I ever love again?

Or am I do scared to give my heart up so freely when I know it could be what kills me!!

Today might have to last me all of my life.........

I hate my lack of education, and/or gental rest. The tightin in my chest. The feeling it's never going to be like it was. The times I left to early and the times I stayed to late. I wish I could make sense of now and not be scared of tomorrow, because as much as I wish tomorrow is never going to be like yesterday.

Yesterday is gone and left me alone with you... .. ...

Brown Eyes of Fire...

turn the tv off, are you comin to bed?
you must have the most beautifull brown eyes i have had the pleasure to see..
iam sorry maybe i have said to much,
ther i go again give me another chance and i promise to not make such a fuss.
but tonite i so badly need your touch
and iam sorry if iam singin the same old love song you have heard a 100 times before,
but i need you more then i can ignore,

Stinkin Stones

Want a kiss want to connect,
want to feel before im died.
want to be able to be sure.
want to forget the things which make me sore.
want to no longer need,
if only wants were and not needs,
and there goes the what if's sneakin back in again.
Free the soul the heart is breakin,
nothing to grip no second guessin what im thinkin.
stinkin stones i'll be alright
its just another sleepless night

Lost.

Cant make it right with out you.
Cant make the night with out you.
Cant win the fight without you.
Tho i couldnt even stay true.
Now i cant win, what to do?
If i knew that i wouldnt be here now.
And while wishing, i cant help holdin on,
No end no knowin,
No blue skys
No nothing
No you,
No.
Cant make it up with out you.
Cant help lose sight with out you.
Cant make it light with out you.
Tho i couldnt even stay true.
And now i feel you know the truth
Do you know?
Do you hear me tonight lookin for you?
Is that all right by you?
Im sorry what can i do?
Cant make it right for you,
Lost sight of you,
Lost contact and now is that all right by you?
Lost my thought and my mind is playin tricks
Maken me believe you could.
hard to believe but what can i do,
Believe for a moment only for it to be another loss of heart,
Breaken bit by bit is that alright?
Im locked tight another sleepless night another nail in the ..........
Na i cant say it.
Is that alright by you?
Is that alright?
Is that..
It's the small crimes maken me feel i cant get back to you.
That makes me lose,
It's the time,
It's the feelin in my hand like pins and needles and its grownin.
Taken over, from heart ach to heart break,
Im lost what to do?

Could you be??

She could be round the corner
She could be far from home
She could be a footstep away.
She could be were i was five minutes ago,
But sadly it doesnt feel like she is that far.
She could be in a state off her bake
She could be having a early night
She could be lost,
She could be so much.
But she sadly tonight cant be mine.
She could be learnin to walk again
She could be on the run
She could be laughtin with another
She could be but i guess i wont know
Caue she will as she might wont be mine tonight.

malcom middleton

Carve the turkey while I watch eastenders,
cause there my friends and my friends are strangers,now.

Noone must know your here, lest not tonight.

Dont sleep, wont sleep, why sleep?
Just another night were happy days seem so far from me
and sundays and monday are every other day.
The dark fills my heart sad but true,
and night times I spend my time tossin and turning confused.
Is it my fault something I did?
Or is that just the way life is?
The fat lady isnt singin so it cant be the end,
so I close my eyes and pretend to be sleepin.
Wishing hard that it was the weekend.
It's just another nite, just another reason,
just a heartbeat away from sleeping.

If you did know, if you even knew, what would you do?

How do you know if its a cry for help?
how do you dream when you cant sleep?
What use are hands if you cant hold on?
What use are fingers if you cant feel?
And the only feeling is wrong.
So what use is tonight if it's just like last night?
What use is chance if you never get it right?
Its just another lonely sleepless night
Were I spend to much time thinkin about dout.
And now all of the above questions I cant work out.

I Wish... If you Knew....

Should i go and never return. the sun excapes me and the clouds blacken the sky, the outside world seems so deadly, every body hates me and im on my time tryin to find piece of mind just to fix these pieces together to get me working again. seems i know nothing same old and not tonight.. if only we could make me right but i know that would be to easy to fix that smile apon my face, its a game of chase and i am so far from winning the race, this is just the melt off my life. i could ask for second chances, ask for you to just let me explain, but nothing is going to make a diffrance when im always wrong fueled on anger and lost in dout. you could of been my escape, but that would be to easy to fix this smile on my face. its a lifes weight, and i can see its near my time, but that doesnt stop me havin one last try....

The King of The Aul In Out!

Some times I wonder whats it all about? The aul in out, and the lastest fashion and tings to be all look at me, when a yogart pot is and always will be a yogart pot. Life is hard when you over do the good times and dont know your bed time..., cant stop, cant carry on, cant rember, cant forget, cant hold on long enough and everythings shit. Lookin for better days when the negtive steals your postive mind. And all you have left is these endless night, and smile thats a frown, my best days have gone and left me alone its true. And to much time alone gives the mind to much time to think and sadly it seems I can only think the worst, turnin my best days and undoing them til they are sinister and dark.

And not even a call from her could help.