Logged out

 I choose not to choose life,

I choose

Sniffing a point 4 in one line 

at 10

With work in the morning.

Pulling a flump trying to cum.

Page 151 on hamster porn.

Late nite when it's quiet. 

Dog raging,

He just wants to hang out.

I just want to get wiped out.

Looking another beg at 1am.

Im lost in a maze,

3 years too late to be

Just a stage.

Everyones logged in,

But nobody's listen.

One more please.

The hunger for one more

Can't be beat or outrun. 

The beast needs fed, 

And the bad thoughts need numbed. 

You always start hopeful. 

Like it's just the one. 

But the feeling 

Doesn't last 

And you always think 

Just another one. 

Just another hit. 

Fuk sleep. 

Fuk work. 

It won't heal the hurt. 

It won't change the past. 

But for a short while

Ill feel class. 

Doesn't matter how much I owe. 

Or how much tomorrow I'll feel low. 

The moment right now 

The beast needs fed. 

The finger hovers over the phone. 

And the nose already feels sore

From the past.

Over

 A restless soul,

Own goal,

Did you get your hole? 

Did you know?

Did you hear? 

Do you have a pound

I could get a lend of?

Also could I get a light?

Talking shite, 

The top man in the south?

The hardest man in the east?

A place to stop all this 

And get some peace? 

Somewhere to rest. 

A life of stress, 

Wasn't born with good looks 

But a good laugh 

If nothing else. 

But I find it hard to sleep. 

Mind keeps me up

And won't stop 

To let me sleep. 

Can't numb the thoughts 

No more. 

The drugs aren't helping 

So much anymore. 

The dog wants to go to bed, 

And I want to try and

Out wit past battles 

That are over. 

9 to 5

Dead man's shoes

9 to 5

Monday to Friday blues.

Full time and can't

Pay what's owed.

Gas ran out and the waters cold.

Alarms test my patience

Telling me my breaks need checked.

Freezer and fridge empty

Got to pay the rent.

My boss stopped saying hello,

Doesn't understand the hurt

I hold.

Mask it all with a smile.

Wishing I could run free

Like a child.

The grass green

And the summers were endless.

We sat up all night having fun

Now we sit up cause

The melt is endless.

The last family man in the business.

The piss artist,

He who laughs the loudest.

Runner up and no prize,

Everyones got a story

In which he features.

But don't be let down or surprised

When he isn't all that.

He is the man with a 100 stories or more.

The man who isn't afraid of the dance floor.

The man with a badly timed joke.

The man with a heart of gold.

Who would share all he owned,

Never would mind given half.

All he ever wanted was to share a laugh.

You are

You are the blade 

I cut myself with when I'm weak.

The words I can't speak,

The empty bed that I toss and turn in

Unable to sleep.

The memories I replay 

when a certain song plays.

The yellow roses in bloom.

The reason my glass is always full,

As I try to drown myself

Or numb myself asleep.

Over thinking myself to a frenzy,

When I need to sleep.

You are my achilles heel.

Mean something

Leg day is everyday

When you are always

Trying to out run

Your troubles and problems.

Your fears and doubts,

Try to drown them

To weak to figure them out.

To far from payday

The credit card maxed out.

And the only time someone cares

Is when they can get something

And you give til

You are left with nothing.

In hope that

What you give

Ment something