Alone.

 Close your eyes and count the stars, 

you've forgiven me a thousand times, 

And I'm going to miss a thousand 

Or more kisses your going 

To give someone else. 

 But tonight I don't think I can be saved 

The dark offers no release.

Especially as I can't sleep. 

Too weak, 

Another bag, 

In too deep. 

A fool for one more. 

No one calls here anymore. 

And when I look i can only steal glances,

Never handsome enough for second chances. 

A clown, 

My own worse enemy. 

Imagine hating on me, 

While I'm at home, 

Hating on me. 

The things a kid shouldn't see. 

The need to need. 

One more for the road? 

"One more" 

I say out loud. 

No one is listening in a empty house. 

Runny nose and work is soon. 

One more just to so you don't feel alone. 

No cure before bed.

I'm looking for a cure. 

To end this endless battle 

And try to win this war. 

But my mind has other ideas. 

It doesn't care or so it seems. 

It just wants the easy route, 

Which then destroy my dreams.

With debt and making it impossible 

To get out of bed. 

Tonight my hurts hurt

 Never met your heros,

Is what they often say.

And never lick the plate,

To take the pain away.

Let the scars heal.

Try to rest your mind.

Don't get lost

In what you could of won.

There isn't a second price.

And life carries on.

And the friends you use to have,

Have all left and gone.

But you still remember

The songs you shared.

The times you dance together.

And you sing them songs,

No matter how much they hurt.

Because forgetting

Isn't an option.

For a over thinking mind.

And holding on

Is the only thing

To stop you sinking tonight.

Why?

 A hole in the soul.

Things I hold on to,

But need to let go.

Memories weigh

A Iife time on shoulders,

And take up too much time

On a mind,

That won't forget.

Silent tears escape

The antidepressants hold.

A leaf falls,

and flys on the wings of the wind.

Were you could never be so bold.

It's just one life,

One go.

Don't let the wind blow away,

Opportunities and chances.

As time flys by.

Just to look back and wonder

Why?

Believe you

I'm in love with the night,

For it hides my sins.

The moon light

For the win.

As I'm half listening.

My head filled with stories,

And excuses.

My heart wishing.

Scared to open my eyes.

Thank God the big lights off.

As I try to pretend,

But my soul is soft.

I can't hide that.

And can't hide

I'm So easy to lie to.

While I Keep rhe music low,

Don't want to upset my neighbors.

Or get too carried away

And belive you. 

Same old

 Dark and long.

Feel I was born slipping

And someone stole the

Good times,

Til I couldn't afford.

Couldn't afford to laugh again.

What a shame.

Life should be more then

Chocolate

And getting high

And getting down.

But it's what you can

Afford.

It's what you can

Manipulate.

It's the very lest you can do.

Everyones having fun,

But the grass is never green near you.

The doctor never listens.

The meds never do.

The alcohol gets easier

And tastes better.

The other is the other.

And nothing will do.

But sure,

One more will maybe do.

Better then this.

 Born slipping. 

Spare key to the house. 

Doing what you shouldn't. 

But isn't that what life is about? 

Pushing boundaries. 

Ignoring the rules. 

Doing things in your own time? 

Scars mark history 

And tattoos mark time. 

And friends come and go, 

And love doesn't always last.

But sure it's not always amazing,

But it's always better then boring, 

And You alway survived, 

You lived life, 

You experienced 

And put your hands in the air .

With many stories to tell. 

With a sound track that can put you back, 

In a moment and another time. 

A body of living history.

You can't remember why you went upstairs. 

But you can remember the endless weekends. 

The new friends. 

The sweaty handshakes and hugs. 

The feeling of coming up. 

Waiting on a taxi. 

Everyone doused in aftershave. 

Banter, 

as you listen to your mates 

New favorite mix.

Not knowing life will never be better then this