This min

 No beer,

No gear,

Bag licked and all that's left 

Is the on coming fear. 

But the mind is more settled. 

Time keeps moving quick. 

Bedtime has come and gone. 

But you keep standing there. 

Staring at the phone, 

Wishing for a friend. 

Wishing to talk, 

To not feel alone 

Like you do at this min. 

The rattle off the bin

Everything and everything.

Lick the bag as I'm starting to sink. 

Can't tell others what I think. 

Don't want to leave the house. 

Don't want to think. 

When I think I start to sink. 

No one's coming to my birthday party, 

No cake, 

Just heart ache. 

The empty bottles rattle 

As I move the bin. 

The sound of wise up. 

But tbh I've just had enough. 

It's not fun anymore. 

It all becomes a blur. 

Endless days with only 

My own voice I hear. 

As I drown in beer

Wondering how I got here?

Do the antidepressants work?

How can I let go?

When it's all I have, 

The past and it's hurts. 

Born

I admit defeat,

Oops a daisy there goes me. 

The words to a song I can't sing. 

Time and a friend.

 I'm hurting,

With scars thst won't help. 

Whispers I tell people. 

That they don't hear. 

I'm hanging on. 

But I've hung on too long. 

Out stayed my welcome. 

No one replies anymore. 

Just watches the end. 

Breaking down in real time, 

Looking a friend. 

Let me cry.

Mid life crisis.

Trying to work out 

What love is?

Why I'm always alone?

What did I do

Or what could I do, 

Or is it all just gone and blown. 

Noone calls or phones. 

The silence grows. 

Another night getting high 

Just to stop feeling. 

But you never stop feeling, 

And so the darkness grows. 

The time flys 

And bed time has come and gone. 

I just want to feel more then sorry for myself. 

Runny nose and sore eye. 

Wondering why?

The antidepressants won't let me cry. 

Second time around

Same faces,

Different places,

Different problems 

Different reasons for trying to numb. 

Different degrees of the same thing. 

Wanting to stay up forever, 

Wishing to keep ahead

Of Mondays pain. 

Running out of excuses, 

Credit card maxed out. 

Anyone wanna come with me?

Just need a a tenner from the cash machine. 

Just need to forget everything. 

For the doctor can't help. 

Work is just an absolute melt. 

Staring at my phone 

In hope of a ping. 

But everything is just

The same old same old

Second hand, 

Nothing new. 

Seen it before, 

And it was shit then to.

We did it all, 

See it all, 

And heard it first. 

The drugs make it bearable, 

But also make it worse. 

The saddest song

The sadest songs you every could hear. 

Put you in depression with one album. 

Then you see through my eyes. 

Think how does he smile? 

How can you laugh 

when the Burden bruises your shoulders. 

Cousin was molested by a married in uncle.

And that is just a small glimpse. 

Spent my life feeling like an alien, 

talking a language no one understands

 or is intresested in. 

Always last to be picked for the football team. 

In school always lost in a daydream. 

Life is more you just got to go for it. 

I swear I'm here for a reason, 

So I can't ignore it. 

But when you shinebright 

People try to dim your light 

It's too much for them. 

Jealous of your potential, 

know you are special. 

As you try to self destruct, 

As you can't understand the thousand thoughts 

That occupy your mind. 

Drowning in alcohol 

With enough drugs to kill an average man. 

But still you wake up on Sunday 

with all those thoughts on your mind. Dancing on a knife edge 

As ther is nothing better to do. 

The battle is a war no one knows bar you The tablets kinda help but at the same point don't,

 they numb you. 

You cry tears but the sounds are lost inside you. 

Mourning a life that's gone and left you. 

A Mid life crisis or just the fact nothing prepared you, 

Thst you would survive. 

You would make this age. 

Thst your book has many chapters, 

So turn a new page. 

The past gone and the wars lost or won. 

Rest your mind, 

Let the weight go,

Time to rest your mind and soul.