Is too late?

I say it to much,  it loses power. 

But sometimes I need it, 

On the hour,  every hour.

Thst is

The need someone

who needs me.

None of the previous.

Time whooses by,

Unfulfillment,

Suicide, good bye.

It seems all he loves must die.

But the love never does,

It like energy can never be truly destroyed.

Simply changes in form.

But the empty bottles by the bed,

They are a cruel reminder.

Off how far he will go for peace.

Hoping for a good night's sleep.

But the weight of non existent dust,

Weights him down.

He give up fighting the demons,

And in the end welcomed them

To his home.

His runny nose tells a tail.

That no one sees.

 Afraid to blow his nose,

But sure everybody bleeds.

He doesn't hear the birds sing,

Just his alarm Demanding

He wakes up.

Hits snooze even though he

Won't sleep,

But it's so close to him giving up.

And so another day.

Tired and fuked up.

Only to get out of work

And feel ready to dance

With the demons

So life no longer hurts.

Neither should you.

Is the heartbreak never ending?

How did everything get so shit?

Nights pretending I'm asleep. 

But that doesn't stop the thoughts. 

Or halt the hurt. 

And it doesn't matter you can't 

Physically feel it, 

Doesn't matter you don't know it. 

Because it's always there. 

Ready to snowball, 

Everything at once. 

And you need to rest for work. 

But the world keeps turning. 

Nothing stops for no one. 

And that's what gets to me. 

The machine doesn't care for your history. 

Doesn't care you were the best craic. 

Doesn't give a fuck about your first love

Or the people you helped. 

Doesn't care if you were kind and good. 

It doesn't stop for anyone, 

So, maybe neither should you. 

Shit ride

Unsubscribed

Her 3rd best ride

Still trying to fix

My heart,

After the last

Heartbreak.

Still speak

Like I've nothing to hide.

Stay up all night

Chasing the high.

Needing to numb

What I can't work out

And what I can't see

With my eyes.

God loves you if you try.

But I'm stuck in a rut,

Always wondering

"why?"

Is it me? 

My actions?

Or

Am I shit ride?

Lube

 I remember,

An ex who fingered my hole.

She went in dry,

No lube, spit

Or even a tear.

Just the tip

I recoiled in terror.

The evil look in her eyes

Hunts me forever.

I said no,

As she went to the hilt.

I went soft

As the moment was killed.

And even to today,

The evil still hunts me.

Love isn't smooth

So get some ky jelly

The drip

The king of the bag.

Down to the last lick.

Runny nose,

And hayfever

Or the cold

For an excuse.

But I fuking love it.

Everything no longer

Feels shit.

An hour long wank,

As the drip falls

And hits my phone screen

As time flys

And I don't care

There and then

That I won't sleep.

Tomorrow I'll worry,

Tomorrow night

An early night I'll get.

Just let me ride the waves

Of no longer hurting

If just for a minute.

Sold out

We sold our dreams

To the machines, 

For half their worth. 

Just to buy us time, 

To make our money work. 

We don't sleep as deep, 

Or relax. 

Our noses sore, 

And our loneliness 

Numbed

As the bills pile up

With no way out. 

We don't see friends,

Can't afford to leave the house.

Everythings too loud

Too much

Not the same, 

Since covid struck. 

My scars

You named my scars

Made me feel I could

Reach the stars.

Made everything feel lighter.

Sharing myself with you

Made everything better.

I wasn't scared to be me.

Wasn't scared of being naked

With the lights on,

No longer needed to be

Lit by the TV.

Felt you understood

And I didn't have to

Watch out.

Wanted to tell you

Everything.

Never need to guess.

Never feel second best.

Didnt need the heating on

As you heated me

With a single heart beat.