A amazing.

 Lost in a maze.

My own making.

Over thinking,

The drink and drugs

Don't numb the feeling

Long enough.

In my own head

I'm lost.

Wondering are we friends at all.

Would you catch me if I fall?

Clean my snotty nose.

I guess I'll never know.

I can't dance.

 I had been a peaceful man, but now I was caught in agitation.  I accidentally hurt myself with my own body, as if I were two clumsy people fighting.  I held on to some things to tightly, ripping pages as i turned them, and let go of other things too suddenly,  plates, breaking them.

Communication

 Honesty is in my bones,

I could never be fake.

I write the odd poem,

Yet I still find it hard to communicate. 

And hard it is to romanticize

The feeling of loneliness

As days get shorter 

And I find it harder to sleep. 

An eternal hunger

But I already had something to eat. 

Smile again.

 Just want to drink myself into oblivion.

Don't want to think again. 

Never wanted to play games. 

Just wanted people to like themselves. 

Just wanted to make someone smile again. 

I can't take away your pain. 

But I can understand 

Why you'll never feel the same. 

Empathy,

And your hurt hurts me. 

Cause I can't help. 

Nothing I say will make things change. 

Hi, how are you? 

Will never be able to help,

Words and actions 

Can't even scratch the surface. 

Everything is useless. 

Yeah you'll get through this. 

I just wish I could take your pain. 

So you could smile again. 

Scar

 I'm a elegant monster, 

A beautiful beast. 

With a wound that isn't a scar 

Cause it won't scar til it no longer bleeds.

The problem with a broken heart.

 All you want to do is give the world your heart.

Your problem is you don't know when to stop.

Another line of anxiety,

Trying to run away from how you feel,

The fire in your heart,

And the need to need.

The childish notion that she breaks the spell

And you can live happily ever after

Away from your own personal hell.

Just another notch and a broken heart,

Another reason, another non start.

And everyday feels like Monday. 

As every other night 

It's just the same old brand new you. 

Diet starts soon,

And the dark clouds won't move.

Lol na

 Noone belongs here more then you,

As I wonder who,

Chooses the steps to our dance.

Stories traded,

Turn to folklore and myth.

Chinese whispers,

And all the rest.

The he said she said,

They said,

It's honestly the truth.

Noone belongs here more then you.

Dusted

Blood sports

Weak hearts

Dancing alone in the dark.

Insomniac

Over thinker

Binge drinker

Pour extra gravy on my Sunday dinner.

Introvert

extrovert

Shy at first

But not scared, to be first on the dance floor.

Back sore

Knees too

But the dog needs walked

even though the rain will soak me through.

Dishes to do

House needs hoovered

And the weekend done and dusted. 

Help.

The call for one more is so buried deep

. I can't hear but I feel it.

 You guys still up?

: My nose is blocked: 

Anyone do a half

For 20

Over east

I started something

I should forget 

Texted girls I should of not

 Tears drop

So fuked

Men I fear not.

Dad I'll fight you.

But I still love you.

Mum maybe not the same. 

I'll beat you to you spit out teeth. 

It's near 2pm.

And I feel nothing.

 But heartbreak. 

AS much as I give away, 

I can't stop this pain. 

No one cares is a hard thing 

To take. 

To forget how much do I need to drink?

Another line as my nose drips. 

Alone.

 Close your eyes and count the stars, 

you've forgiven me a thousand times, 

And I'm going to miss a thousand 

Or more kisses your going 

To give someone else. 

 But tonight I don't think I can be saved 

The dark offers no release.

Especially as I can't sleep. 

Too weak, 

Another bag, 

In too deep. 

A fool for one more. 

No one calls here anymore. 

And when I look i can only steal glances,

Never handsome enough for second chances. 

A clown, 

My own worse enemy. 

Imagine hating on me, 

While I'm at home, 

Hating on me. 

The things a kid shouldn't see. 

The need to need. 

One more for the road? 

"One more" 

I say out loud. 

No one is listening in a empty house. 

Runny nose and work is soon. 

One more just to so you don't feel alone. 

No cure before bed.

I'm looking for a cure. 

To end this endless battle 

And try to win this war. 

But my mind has other ideas. 

It doesn't care or so it seems. 

It just wants the easy route, 

Which then destroy my dreams.

With debt and making it impossible 

To get out of bed. 

Tonight my hurts hurt

 Never met your heros,

Is what they often say.

And never lick the plate,

To take the pain away.

Let the scars heal.

Try to rest your mind.

Don't get lost

In what you could of won.

There isn't a second price.

And life carries on.

And the friends you use to have,

Have all left and gone.

But you still remember

The songs you shared.

The times you dance together.

And you sing them songs,

No matter how much they hurt.

Because forgetting

Isn't an option.

For a over thinking mind.

And holding on

Is the only thing

To stop you sinking tonight.

Why?

 A hole in the soul.

Things I hold on to,

But need to let go.

Memories weigh

A Iife time on shoulders,

And take up too much time

On a mind,

That won't forget.

Silent tears escape

The antidepressants hold.

A leaf falls,

and flys on the wings of the wind.

Were you could never be so bold.

It's just one life,

One go.

Don't let the wind blow away,

Opportunities and chances.

As time flys by.

Just to look back and wonder

Why?

Believe you

I'm in love with the night,

For it hides my sins.

The moon light

For the win.

As I'm half listening.

My head filled with stories,

And excuses.

My heart wishing.

Scared to open my eyes.

Thank God the big lights off.

As I try to pretend,

But my soul is soft.

I can't hide that.

And can't hide

I'm So easy to lie to.

While I Keep rhe music low,

Don't want to upset my neighbors.

Or get too carried away

And belive you. 

Same old

 Dark and long.

Feel I was born slipping

And someone stole the

Good times,

Til I couldn't afford.

Couldn't afford to laugh again.

What a shame.

Life should be more then

Chocolate

And getting high

And getting down.

But it's what you can

Afford.

It's what you can

Manipulate.

It's the very lest you can do.

Everyones having fun,

But the grass is never green near you.

The doctor never listens.

The meds never do.

The alcohol gets easier

And tastes better.

The other is the other.

And nothing will do.

But sure,

One more will maybe do.

Better then this.

 Born slipping. 

Spare key to the house. 

Doing what you shouldn't. 

But isn't that what life is about? 

Pushing boundaries. 

Ignoring the rules. 

Doing things in your own time? 

Scars mark history 

And tattoos mark time. 

And friends come and go, 

And love doesn't always last.

But sure it's not always amazing,

But it's always better then boring, 

And You alway survived, 

You lived life, 

You experienced 

And put your hands in the air .

With many stories to tell. 

With a sound track that can put you back, 

In a moment and another time. 

A body of living history.

You can't remember why you went upstairs. 

But you can remember the endless weekends. 

The new friends. 

The sweaty handshakes and hugs. 

The feeling of coming up. 

Waiting on a taxi. 

Everyone doused in aftershave. 

Banter, 

as you listen to your mates 

New favorite mix.

Not knowing life will never be better then this 

Believe in love.

 The void wasn't sniffed away.

Another point 4 won't do. 

I can try and drink away the pain. 

Though its still be waiting in the morning. 

And so will everything you tried to forget. 

With added hangover and feeling shit. 

The places the music can't reach. 

Got me with nothing else 

But 

My soul to squeeze. 

So ths party never ends, 

As the bank account goes further in the red

And everything you love is further pushed away. 

This is fun, 

Lighting a fire and you don't run. 

Pointing at yourself with a gun. 

Cutting yourself to the bone. 

Driving drunk. 

Allowing yourself to believe in love. 

The end of the day

At the end of the day

Is now okay?

I'm trying to drown 

These demons in beer, 

But they won't stay away. 

Sleep isn't easy. 

I need more rest 

The threat of everything 

Falling apart, 

Puts a weigh on me, 

That makes it hard to get a breath. 

So self medication and over thinking. 

The dog tells me off 

And tells me bed is waiting. 

But I don't want to toss or turn. 

I just want stay awake. 

Listen to sad songs, 

And drown myself in drink. 

No use

 And there it is.

The love I give, 

Out weighs what I get back. 

I want to give everything, 

Just even for a "how are you" text. 

But I'm too fried for too long 

too many people I called friends, 

Now I don't know them at all. 

Cause I give too much, 

give everything away. 

Cause nothing with out love is any use to me.

The scars

 I'd never steal the stars from your sky.

The clouds only come when you're away. 

You have a magic, 

The sort that saves the day. 

I'm old enough to know now

That hearts aren't toys. 

And love shouldn't be a game. 

And if it is right, 

Then it can heal, 

Though the scars still look the same.

And sometimes I can't sleep. 

Over thinking about long gone things. 

Thinking about, 

Where the scars came. 

When I was too young to realize, 

That people come and go. 

But if it's ment to be, 

Then you will not let it go.