The saddest song

The sadest songs you every could hear. 

Put you in depression with one album. 

Then you see through my eyes. 

Think how does he smile? 

How can you laugh 

when the Burden bruises your shoulders. Cousin molested by a married in uncle.

 And that is just a small glimpse. 

Spent my life feeling like an alien, 

talking a language no one understands

 or is intresested in. 

Always last to be picked for the football team. 

In school always lost in a daydream. 

Life is more you just got to go for it. 

I swear I'm here for a reason, 

So I can't ignore it. 

But when you shinebright 

People try to dim your light 

It's too much for them. 

Jealous of your potential, 

know you are special. 

As you try to self destruct, 

As you can't understand the thousand thoughts 

That occupy your mind. 

Drowning in alcohol 

With enough drugs to kill an average man. But still you wake up on Sunday 

with all those thoughts on your mind. Dancing on a knife edge 

As ther is nothing better to do. 

The battle is a war no one knows bar you The tablets kinda help but at the same point don't,

 they numb you. 

You cry tears but the sounds are lost inside you. 

Mourning a life that's gone and left you. 

A Mid life crisis or just the fact nothing prepared you, 

Thst you would survive. 

You would make this age. 

Thst your book has many chapters, 

So turn a new page. 

The past gone and the wars lost or won. 

Rest your mind, 

Let the weight go,

Time to rest your mind and soul. 

Goes

 The sun isn't making

Me want to go to bed. 

Sitting up to believe 

I'm in control of my life.

Listening to the same songs 

A 100 times. 

Dogs giving hints it's bed time. 

But the coke still 

Is pulsing in my head now. 

It drips and I ignore it. 

Just wishing I wasn't alone 

And feeling shit. 

The meds stopped working 

A long time ago. 

My head over thought 

To many times you know. 

Nothing to stop feeding low  

Shouting into the void 

Just shows 

When nothing calls back

How low 

AND shit life goes 

Toast to Monday

 My dog sighs

My dark days, 

My temptress

My moment of bliss.

When the beat hits.

When we close the curtains

On Sunday.

And when we are swopping sims, 

As we ran out of battery.

Like a lottery,

No one wants to admit its Sunday.

Who's phoning in sick Monday?

Demon

 Up all night got demons to fight. 

BATTLES TO OVER THINK. 

Fights thst could never be won to fight again. Things I can't change to over think and reopen old wounds again. 

Tell friends everythings amazing. 

Though I can't sleep 

Again. 

Struggle as the ups aren't upping the same. The downs don't stop taking everything. 

The sparkle in my eye long gone

 and the skip in my step

Long gone too.

Hard to talk about it,

Because the demons feed

On those feelings too.

Logged out

 I choose not to choose life,

I choose

Sniffing a point 4 in one line 

at 10

With work in the morning.

Pulling a flump trying to cum.

Page 151 on hamster porn.

Late nite when it's quiet. 

Dog raging,

He just wants to hang out.

I just want to get wiped out.

Looking another beg at 1am.

Im lost in a maze,

3 years too late to be

Just a stage.

Everyones logged in,

But nobody's listen.

One more please.

The hunger for one more

Can't be beat or outrun. 

The beast needs fed, 

And the bad thoughts need numbed. 

You always start hopeful. 

Like it's just the one. 

But the feeling 

Doesn't last 

And you always think 

Just another one. 

Just another hit. 

Fuk sleep. 

Fuk work. 

It won't heal the hurt. 

It won't change the past. 

But for a short while

Ill feel class. 

Doesn't matter how much I owe. 

Or how much tomorrow I'll feel low. 

The moment right now 

The beast needs fed. 

The finger hovers over the phone. 

And the nose already feels sore

From the past.

Over

 A restless soul,

Own goal,

Did you get your hole? 

Did you know?

Did you hear? 

Do you have a pound

I could get a lend of?

Also could I get a light?

Talking shite, 

The top man in the south?

The hardest man in the east?

A place to stop all this 

And get some peace? 

Somewhere to rest. 

A life of stress, 

Wasn't born with good looks 

But a good laugh 

If nothing else. 

But I find it hard to sleep. 

Mind keeps me up

And won't stop 

To let me sleep. 

Can't numb the thoughts 

No more. 

The drugs aren't helping 

So much anymore. 

The dog wants to go to bed, 

And I want to try and

Out wit past battles 

That are over. 

9 to 5

Dead man's shoes

9 to 5

Monday to Friday blues.

Full time and can't

Pay what's owed.

Gas ran out and the waters cold.

Alarms test my patience

Telling me my breaks need checked.

Freezer and fridge empty

Got to pay the rent.

My boss stopped saying hello,

Doesn't understand the hurt

I hold.

Mask it all with a smile.

Wishing I could run free

Like a child.

The grass green

And the summers were endless.

We sat up all night having fun

Now we sit up cause

The melt is endless.

The last family man in the business.

The piss artist,

He who laughs the loudest.

Runner up and no prize,

Everyones got a story

In which he features.

But don't be let down or surprised

When he isn't all that.

He is the man with a 100 stories or more.

The man who isn't afraid of the dance floor.

The man with a badly timed joke.

The man with a heart of gold.

Who would share all he owned,

Never would mind given half.

All he ever wanted was to share a laugh.

You are

You are the blade 

I cut myself with when I'm weak.

The words I can't speak,

The empty bed that I toss and turn in

Unable to sleep.

The memories I replay 

when a certain song plays.

The yellow roses in bloom.

The reason my glass is always full,

As I try to drown myself

Or numb myself asleep.

Over thinking myself to a frenzy,

When I need to sleep.

You are my achilles heel.

Mean something

Leg day is everyday

When you are always

Trying to out run

Your troubles and problems.

Your fears and doubts,

Try to drown them

To weak to figure them out.

To far from payday

The credit card maxed out.

And the only time someone cares

Is when they can get something

And you give til

You are left with nothing.

In hope that

What you give

Ment something

Sore tonight.

 The bottle tops hunt me

The next day. 

A reminder how easy it is 

To throw it all away. 

To lose all sense 

When chasing a high. 

Noone is coming to save me, 

Maybe I'm a bad person 

And that is why?

Friends gone with no goodbye. 

Over thinking everything, 

So I sniff to ease my mind. 

Lose myself in the powder, 

Sniffing the left overs, 

Trying to make sure 

to bin all the bottle tops.

My chest hurts, 

My head sore. 

Trying to work out 

Why I should carry on 

When I'm so sore.