THE DAM!!

Well, its took me 28 years but atlast i made it to the dam! amsterdam!! the big smoke! well after what happend in new york i thought to myself gosh what sort of trouble could i get myself into, infact i think the fear of it was maken my eyelid flicker. the sad truth.............


NOTHING, thats right, i smoked two joints in in three nights. all in all im pretty unimpressed by my stay, i think the place has great protental, but its findin the right person to go with to unlock the protental. so better luck next time.

but tho at the same time, i went to the zoo in amsterdam and its left me abit sad i was lookin a monkey right in the eye and for a moment i felt empthy(lol i know i know i do talk some shit!)with it, for a moment i seen i also at times feel like a caged animal(maybe i just went abit stir crazy while there and wished to let loose and go on the town and get crazy to feel i was beonyed the cage(lol god i have such a way with words))with people stairn from the outside(ok i will stop while im ahead), but it was sad to see these beautiful animals caged like that. there was a wee angry monkey who kicked the window which was funny, he had a fight with another monkey.

Just Nothing.......

you what scares me, is the thought soemoen is going around tellin people bad stuff about me which in turn makes these people dislike me. what scares me more is that i am thinkin this and its really paranoid...........

And then it begins to snowball out of control. and so i just said two things. tho it could be true, couldnt it? i mean you go with a girl who is mad about you at one moment bit of time by herself and she feels nothing for you all of a sudden.. what happend to the plans which were made? the things which were said? its the same with people i rember loadsof people thinkin i was class and all of a sudden its shit, noone calls, noone says fuck all "hi, hello? hellllllllllllloooooooo?" noone home, no reply, no answers why...

Just nothing.... Fuckin nothing......

another night.

So again i make to friday.... Just about, and again i ask myself, who are you tonight?

Do you know? Do you rember?

Were did it all go wrong?

Who are you tonight?

The feelings not right, thats why i guess i ask who are you tonight?

Who i am?

Yea me, who am i?

Young? Bold?

Or realy

Just forgotten and old............................................

I just wish i knew, i wish i could work out. i mean life goes on. noone stops, you could fall i nthe street and people will walk past your side. so im tryin to do the right thing and give a little help but how can i when i cant help myself?

who am i tonight?

lost and alone?

liek a dog with a bone i wont let go of the things which drags me down.

old cuts reopen, im hope but sadly the doors never open.

so who am i tonight? same as tomorrow night...

Noone.

lol, you thought you were the big lad now your left sad, noone calls, noone texts, so much for friends!

im been with everyone and left with noone.

i didnt think it would be like this, end like this.

im wiatin on you to finish.

i know thats why i left with her.

sure its the not the answer and its not a cure,

its simply a painkiller.

but you teaseed me out of me.

pulled me out of the rut only i was to heavy and i fell back in.

o you fat cunt,

what the fuck have i gotten myself in?

How do you know if its a cry for help?

So we'll laught untill we bleed,

stare till we are blind,

want to believe,

i dont want to wait no more,

im going to look if only i could see.

and then we laught till we bleed.

Tickin clocks, we sould go out for a drink,

get to know each other a little,

you could be the devil on my shoulder.

and you could lead me astray.

and when i say im going you could beg me to stay.

then we'll laught untill we bleed.

its that time of the month the time when i realy begain to need.

im keepin the curtins open but the day light cant penatrait me.

im lookin but i cant see.

im wishin i was soemone else and you didnt know me.

so then we could meet again and start without history.

and then we could laught untill we bleed.

then we could maybe be ok, be my better days.

you wouldnt burn my tounge,

you wouldnt make me bleed.

cause tonight is just like every other night and my medicen wont help.

and we wont laught but i will bleed.

and as loud as i say it you wont hear it.

so tonight your the knife that slowly turns and i know they talk but i dont want to listen.

i dont wish to know what it is they say cause i fear its the finil nail in the coffin

the last shovel of dirt to keep the secret buried.

the charm which i used to know is long gone

all i have is a stutter and a map to find the disire to hold on.

It would be shit to miss it. capital letter full stop.

So who are you tonight? Are you happy? Who are you? full stop. capital letter? whats for lunch? i need to feel alive, the problem with bein up is knowin that you can come down at any moment. and youk now its just round the corner the downfall "lest your not drinkin coke! are you ok Eddie?" do i look ok? the clown hides his tears with make up, the heart break is not showin. i know what there thinkin which is what hurts the most as i am what they say and for a moment i wasnt. i was better i was the great. i was on to a future but sadly it was over when you said it was and now im late as always. my clock seems to run five minutes behind. tho i would never be late for you it was right with you and now with out you im lost what can i do?

15000 tickets left for glastonbury. better hurry better be quick cause if i dont get a ticket im pretty much fucked. or well not that bad but it would be shit to miss it.

the wee doll.

i'ed give a life time just for a minute of your time.
see time is no use to me when your not here.
when you dont even know me.
hi, i see you everyday going about your day.
but you dont see me your to busy lookin at the ground,
i often wonder what it is you wish to find?
find my broken wings so i can fly again?
find a little time, a little soemthing to free my mind?
but its not me your lookin for as you pass.
for i as much as i wish cant give you the good times you need to exsist.
i cant be the one to ease your burden,
i wouldnt even lightnt your load.
im to old and time has taken my best days away
and now sadly all i have is a smile for you as you pass me everyday.