Its horrible being sick all the time

So its creepin back in.
The darkness i have feared for so long has returned.
The dark of your eyes as i try to find the white. Wake Up.
Its been dark for to long and now i cant help but sleep throught the light.
Im fucked cause this cant be life. My best days are well behind.
The day to day leaves me less with noone to hear my cry.
Would you could you be my trusty tissue tonight.
No,
as ever i have to face this endless night the torture to be myself by myself
such a fight but could i be free by midnight to dream away the days.
So dont wake me please, let me lay, and if i wake let me lie.
For if you knew would you let it go,
and if you could would you catch those tears or let them fall.
Steal my skys and and give me your beautiful lies,
in bows and and out with the tide.
Did I tell you how much i dont want you but need you by my side to face daylight.

Who Are you Tonight? Hopelessly Devoted

I've been silly, i've been thinkin about you again,

thinkin what it would be like to burn that old flame.

your names on my tounge, shame what have i done,

everything, still its not enought.

so as always time taken to much of too little.

its always the same,

fuck me will this ever end?

so im tryin to sleep, but your keepin me awake.

from a distance i can feel, like i used to.

but feelins are still a little numb,

and im wondern if you could help.

a text there or maybe a email.

or i could even call to your home.

but that wouldnt be on after so long

the feelins you had are long gone.

its just im holdin on as ever

fightin the good fight in my head all day long

but its not in my favour and in the end noones won.

rewrite of older blog

she's a gamble, hearts she takes.

she's a cold hand at the wake.

Midnight she hears me breath cursen the sky were sould i be?

lets call it evens and let me leave but to be honest how i cant see.

blinded by tomorrow for she wont leave me be.

she's a storm in a teacup wrecken my head till i can break free.

she is lost time and the seconds hand tick leaven me less,

in her arms i felt blessed.o

ne more chance is more then i could have.

but, i'll smile to hide the hurt inside.

lookin down as i walk,

feelings lost and thoughts of tomorrow she stole while my back is turned.

she's a future i'll never see but sure lest i have the memoires.

hiden benith the moon of heartbreak she is gone

there is no way out so now shes a thorn.

she is her and noone knew what she'd steal,

this cant be,why is it the blame is left for me.

if this is a dream why cant i wake she is cruel thinkin nothing of the hearts she breaks.

not tonight dear my head is sore and i need to rest.

my heart is broke i just dont know what to say, i thought you could be the one to help me find a cure but now im left outside in the cold knockin on the door of life and lonelyness is my motal enemy creeping behind me everywere i go, i try not to let it get me to see my weakness but it knows to well, and its comin to get me, its comein with every step i hear it gettin closer and closer, they say im bein dramatic but im just bein honest, i know the cold of its bones and i hear the sound of its foot steps as it draws closer to were i rest. i know it wont be long till i can feel its breath on my neck as i try to sleep , but sadly i also know the demons and by there names who keep me awake. tho i dare not say there names to noone, noone must know, and noone must know you knwo i know who they are.

Lock in grab your posion...........

today as always could be either the first or last day of my life,

my world crumbles and shatters below her boot heels

sadly im a slave to the way she makes me feel,

i need it more then any drug,

a simple she agrees with me or a welcome hug.

though she wont be mine no she wont bring love,

all she does is darken the sky with dout

so i cant see past her and end up lost.

so im lookin for soemthing to replace that feelin,

fill my time and stop me thinkin.

so beg'in the hands of time to stop windin me up with their tick tlock. for every tick i lose her a little more

and for every tock she gets a little futher away from the moment.

For it i would travel,

willin to meet yet unwillin to admite defeat,

good sense of houmour,

but sadly it wont help.

hi,

you could break the black sky. but your not mine, to far away and not even a call could save me. i dont know why i must need tonight. the drink doesnt numb what this feelin realy is. and so i try and lie but i cant hide it from myself. my pride breaks when im alone, but its not enought and i cant break the black, cant crack the dark, i need and needs must, just one touch and i wait by the wayside till your alone. but thats not me so its me who is alone waitin like a dog for you to throw me a bone, its ok im just going about my day. and thats the way i feel tonight.

mixin pain killers as the sleepin tablets have ran out.

lookin for clues serchen for hints,
im down to deep in this muddy trench
lost in hope turnin into the night.
wrapen myself in clouds tight.
im lookin for the ones lost in battels past.
mixin pain killers to make ease and help with nights sleep.
but tonight im really in to deep............