What difference does it make?

life is a funny old game. sometimes people often push there will apon you trying to make you do what they wish not knowing what goes on behind closed doors as you try and breath, while every breath hurts your chest. it isn't easy. it isn't getting better............

Stress

Stress comes and stress goes, trying to stand on my two feet all my life. To much to fear to marry a wife, just need time alone. but it is ok isn't it?? I mean we can just pretend this isn't the end. hanging on my the tips of your fingers waiting just waiting to be saved?! just wishing for more.. maybe it is time to just stand on my own two feet.

tonight, tomorrow night and the next night.

The night filled with dread, Better not said, Better not know, If only sleep would ease Instead a 100 thoughts

Attack and leave me low

So,

Well long time, hi how are you? Been hard going tbh, not so new job which I was happy in for 6 months, girlfriend who enjoyed a drink or two at the weekend, or well she is a alco if i am honest. and so up and down, double dose of the meds. no to much drinking or drugs. I don't know, I just cant seem to relax. Sure there is always tomorrow.

lets dance.

So blood tests came back, nothing wrong there! I am starting to believe it is maybe just me, my fault...

Holding on

So going to get more blood tests, hopefully get sorted and no longer feel so tired. it is very hard when it just seems a pain the hole to move.

why oh why.

I fantasize for what cant be with who isnt for me with a need to see how wonderful life could be if only I could throw caution to wind, and not worry about such unimportant things. But its to close to the bone to be to far from home, the gentalman you left out side for the cold to freeze needs to leave and finaly stand up for to stop such wrong doing. But with a slap to the wrist im stuck thinkin who is this could it honestly rly be me?