The last of the last

 I'm scrolling and scrolling,

But nothing is coming up. 

Scrolling my life away, 

And my nose is blocked. 

Message after message, 

But everyone's in bed and no one's up. 

I'll probably not sleep, 

And my nose is blocked. 

My chest is feeling the pump pump. 

My heart needs a rest

But my mind is made up. 

I don't know what to do with my time, 

I'm fed up. 

Everything is boring, 

So the scrolling is my only thing

And I'm so broke I can't even pay attention 

I think I'm maybe fuked up. 

You can't win them all.

 You can't win them all,

As much as you try. 

The more times you lose, 

The more it hurts, 

The more it plays on your mind. 

The more you can't find any excuse, 

It's definitely not them, 

It's you. 

It's not you, 

It's me. 

Hunched in the corner, 

Face lit by the TV. 

Up too late, 

But you can't sleep. 

You tried keeping your eyes closed. 

Not even opening them a peep. 

But somethings wrong, 

So you put on you tube and the sadest songs. 

Let them burn, 

When you aren't feeling strong. 

When everything is wrong. 

Dark and longer

 sleight of heart, 

A losing hand, a darkness, 

Cancer of the the soul, 

Spread sheets and work demands, 

Cut backs and a need to need, 

Till you forget the small things 

And everything feels wrong. 

You could of been a contender, 

Ecerybody's blue eyed boy, 

Open doors and pull out chairs, 

Brought up right in the wrong time, 

But you know what? 

I do all my own stunts, 

And that is easy to forget, 

Leaves me holding a little tighter 

To broken pieces. 

The days get shorter, 

Till you can't face the freeze of the passing breeze, 

Can't hack the cold and dark of the morning

As the trees lose their leafs, 

Stole by the passing wind, 

The nights last forever.  

It doesn't make a difference 

That the clocks go back, 

The best days have left, 

And I'm having another panic attack. .

Re post?

 Romantic terrorist,

Imagine bumping into you.

The things we say we won't, 

But we always do.

Though we try,

it would never do,

Imagine you being lost & wrong 

When it's late at night,

Heart broke on a school night, 

And the rain soaked me through.

It's only permanent

It's not like it's forever,

The things a romantic terrorist

For love would do.

The clown in me part3

 Everything is hard going.

What if we aren't depressed and life is just shit?

Doctors give us pills,

But they just don't scratch the itch?

Something abit more,

Abit white,

Abit of that stuff that keeps you awake.

But, na.

No.

But here.

Na, no, na forget it.

Although.

Everything seems shit,

Til you take one sniff.

It used to be once a week.

Now it's when ever,

No sleep, work or whatever

That doesn't come into it.

I'm trying to hold on.

Cause if I lose then the bullies win,

And that is one thing that keeps me going on.

But it's hard to find a point.

When everything is wrong.

The clown in me part 2

 You can't give up,

Definitely not now not yet. 

Too much still that you have to give. 

Too many memories to make. 

Just got reflect and cut through the shit. 

You survived for a reason 

And that isn't to give up. 

You've had worse, 

And that was just a warm up. 

You're here to help and inspire. 

Giving up and giving in

Isn't your ending. 

You have so much more;

The clown in me.

 This is shit,

Bag licked and last line sniffed. 

Nose gunge covers my mustache 

As I try to drink myself 

To the point I can sleep. 

The mind isn't racing too fast, 

But the heart feels sore

And pumps hard with every beat. 

Life could be so much more, 

But I'm beat. 

Put my hands up,

You got me!

But they haven't won 

As long as I keep on 

Keeping on.