Bein bold for the sake of it.

So its gettin cold, tho atlest it isnt rainin, im tryin to work out which is worse rain or ice. ice is pretty shit if you are in a hurry but it looks sweet when it sparkles when you are walkin in the darkness in the morrin to work. rain is wet and is shit. ice makes cars crash. i dont drive. i dont know i like the ice but my skin doesnt. but on a lighter note i seen the one who got away, or well i think i did. if it was her she was really happy and had such a big smile you wouldnt of thought she remberd the things i did to her. she was driven a people carrier with a baby on board sticker on the back. makes me wonder has she finaly got a kid? and does this means my dream of mountin her once more are but usless? i would love another go for old times sake, that and she was mental and would let you shit on her(not that we did before, but im pretty sure you could talk her into it. tho if it was jsut a out of the blue one night thing you might not. mmm tho she might shit on your chest if it was a one night hi, how are you thing.)she probly would be up for shittin on a glass table. but so i wonder has she a kid now and has she chilled out? as she was bonkers, both sides of the coin, when she was nice she was the nicest person in the world and would bend over backwards(kinda like when we were buckin too i supose she would get in many a postion)for to help you. tho when she was nasty she was really nasty, often if a fight was to start even when you got her to finaly see she was wrong she would still fight she was right. but i wouldl ove to spend a day with her and just have some time to rember the old days, the better moments like the may day bbq. but i guess it wont ever happenin.

So i went to the roost for my good friend wee big jonnys birthday. it was a good night tho i have found cider makes me itch which is a blow as its all i drink, barr cocktails. and not ever bar does cocktials or if they do they arnt nice always. so tbh im at a lost as what to do. or well what to drink?! i feel cider is a part of me, its who i am, i can tel lstorys of diffrent ciders turn my nose up at pear cider and magners. but now what do i do? i think maybe knockin drinkin on the head is probly the only thing, but its all i do, get drunk, fall over, dance out of time with the music and sing off key. i need a hobbie, i need release. i just think i need to find peace. but peace of mind seems so far away tonight my head is sooo very fryed. lol just a normal end of week then!

Next friday im headin to carrick to spend tiem with my now friend but then ex(we have thought about it and when interducen or talkin about each other we are friends no longer ex's)jade. i look forward to it so much as carrick is very quiet, she is maken pizza and im maken garlic bread. tho shame i cant drink cider as that would of make the trip the best ever. but im hopein we can see stars like i seen last night as they were amazen..