Die by the boos

Regret haunts my sleep.

Keeps me awake, 

Stressing over things 

I can't fix. 

I've said sorry, 

I've said goodbye. 

I've dried all the tears 

That fell from my eyes. 

And sometimes it feels 

That it isn't enough. 

Other times it's okay. 

But it gets me when I'm alone, 

And the hurt doesn't go away. 

The meds don't get close enough. 

And no one tells me it's okay

You've done enough. 

No one stops the walls 

At night closing in. 

The mind racing, 

With no answers, 

So like a fool, 

I lived for the cheers 

And will die by the boos.. 

To be wrong

I've been wrong.

I've been completely ugly.

But I'm yet to die,

And as such

I still grow and blossom.

Somedays ugly others

A beauty that would stop you

In your tracks 

You could do.

 Sniffed well past my welcome,

But to shy to say goodbye. 

Trapped in paranoia 

And I don't want to leave

Just keep trying to get high. 

The sun taunts me,

Reminds me, 

That reality isn't too far away. 

And you can try but you can't out sniff time. 

No trip to offy can stop tomorrow. 

And no gear on strap will help to. 

You want to run away. 

But you'll have to face it soon. 

We were sold rock n roll dreams, 

Via movies and TV. 

But it didn't turn out that way 

As you face another 9 to 5 week. 

Leaves your soul weak, 

And the twinkle in your eye 

No longer twinkles. 

The skip in your step long gone, 

As you think of the things

You wish you could do. 

One more?

 I licked the bag

So the fun is done.

But I don't feel numb,

I still can think.

Poured the last of the drink.

Not sure if it will do.

Stop me thinking,

And help me forget

What makes me blue.

It hurts,

And tomorrow it will hurt again to.

Lost,

And I don't know what to do?

The drugs don't work.

But lest they help me

Push through.

A amazing.

 Lost in a maze.

My own making.

Over thinking,

The drink and drugs

Don't numb the feeling

Long enough.

In my own head

I'm lost.

Wondering are we friends at all.

Would you catch me if I fall?

Clean my snotty nose.

I guess I'll never know.

I can't dance.

 I had been a peaceful man, but now I was caught in agitation.  I accidentally hurt myself with my own body, as if I were two clumsy people fighting.  I held on to some things to tightly, ripping pages as i turned them, and let go of other things too suddenly,  plates, breaking them.

Communication

 Honesty is in my bones,

I could never be fake.

I write the odd poem,

Yet I still find it hard to communicate. 

And hard it is to romanticize

The feeling of loneliness

As days get shorter 

And I find it harder to sleep. 

An eternal hunger

But I already had something to eat.