Let me cry.

Mid life crisis.

Trying to work out 

What love is?

Why I'm always alone?

What did I do

Or what could I do, 

Or is it all just gone and blown. 

Noone calls or phones. 

The silence grows. 

Another night getting high 

Just to stop feeling. 

But you never stop feeling, 

And so the darkness grows. 

The time flys 

And bed time has come and gone. 

I just want to feel more then sorry for myself. 

Runny nose and sore eye. 

Wondering why?

The antidepressants won't let me cry. 

Second time around

Same faces,

Different places,

Different problems 

Different reasons for trying to numb. 

Different degrees of the same thing. 

Wanting to stay up forever, 

Wishing to keep ahead

Of Mondays pain. 

Running out of excuses, 

Credit card maxed out. 

Anyone wanna come with me?

Just need a a tenner from the cash machine. 

Just need to forget everything. 

For the doctor can't help. 

Work is just an absolute melt. 

Staring at my phone 

In hope of a ping. 

But everything is just

The same old same old

Second hand, 

Nothing new. 

Seen it before, 

And it was shit then to.

We did it all, 

See it all, 

And heard it first. 

The drugs make it bearable, 

But also make it worse. 

The saddest song

The sadest songs you every could hear. 

Put you in depression with one album. 

Then you see through my eyes. 

Think how does he smile? 

How can you laugh 

when the Burden bruises your shoulders. 

Cousin was molested by a married in uncle.

And that is just a small glimpse. 

Spent my life feeling like an alien, 

talking a language no one understands

 or is intresested in. 

Always last to be picked for the football team. 

In school always lost in a daydream. 

Life is more you just got to go for it. 

I swear I'm here for a reason, 

So I can't ignore it. 

But when you shinebright 

People try to dim your light 

It's too much for them. 

Jealous of your potential, 

know you are special. 

As you try to self destruct, 

As you can't understand the thousand thoughts 

That occupy your mind. 

Drowning in alcohol 

With enough drugs to kill an average man. 

But still you wake up on Sunday 

with all those thoughts on your mind. Dancing on a knife edge 

As ther is nothing better to do. 

The battle is a war no one knows bar you The tablets kinda help but at the same point don't,

 they numb you. 

You cry tears but the sounds are lost inside you. 

Mourning a life that's gone and left you. 

A Mid life crisis or just the fact nothing prepared you, 

Thst you would survive. 

You would make this age. 

Thst your book has many chapters, 

So turn a new page. 

The past gone and the wars lost or won. 

Rest your mind, 

Let the weight go,

Time to rest your mind and soul. 

Goes

 The sun isn't making

Me want to go to bed. 

Sitting up to believe 

I'm in control of my life.

Listening to the same songs 

A 100 times. 

Dogs giving hints it's bed time. 

But the coke still 

Is pulsing in my head now. 

It drips and I ignore it. 

Just wishing I wasn't alone 

And feeling shit. 

The meds stopped working 

A long time ago. 

My head over thinks

What was and could of been, 

So many to too many 

Times you'll never know. 

Nothing to stop feeding low. 

Shouting into the void 

Just wishing something 

Would shout back, 

Help make sense 

Of this broken heart. 

To feel more then low 

To give me a reason to carry on, 

Toast to Monday

 My dog sighs

My dark days, 

My temptress

My moment of bliss.

When the beat hits.

When we close the curtains

On Sunday.

And when we are swopping sims, 

As we ran out of battery.

Like a lottery,

No one wants to admit its Sunday.

Who's phoning in sick Monday?

Demon

 Up all night got demons to fight. 

BATTLES TO OVER THINK. 

Fights thst could never be won to fight again. Things I can't change to over think and reopen old wounds again. 

Tell friends everythings amazing. 

Though I can't sleep 

Again. 

Struggle as the ups aren't upping the same. The downs don't stop taking everything. 

The sparkle in my eye long gone

 and the skip in my step

Long gone too.

Hard to talk about it,

Because the demons feed

On those feelings too.

Logged out

 I choose not to choose life,

I choose

Sniffing a point 4 in one line 

at 10

With work in the morning.

Pulling a flump trying to cum.

Page 151 on hamster porn.

Late nite when it's quiet. 

Dog raging,

He just wants to hang out.

I just want to get wiped out.

Looking another beg at 1am.

Im lost in a maze,

3 years too late to be

Just a stage.

Everyones logged in,

But nobody's listen.