Tuesday, 3 November 2009

rewrite of older blog

she's a gamble, hearts she takes.

she's a cold hand at the wake.

Midnight she hears me breath cursen the sky were sould i be?

lets call it evens and let me leave but to be honest how i cant see.

blinded by tomorrow for she wont leave me be.

she's a storm in a teacup wrecken my head till i can break free.

she is lost time and the seconds hand tick leaven me less,

in her arms i felt blessed.o

ne more chance is more then i could have.

but, i'll smile to hide the hurt inside.

lookin down as i walk,

feelings lost and thoughts of tomorrow she stole while my back is turned.

she's a future i'll never see but sure lest i have the memoires.

hiden benith the moon of heartbreak she is gone

there is no way out so now shes a thorn.

she is her and noone knew what she'd steal,

this cant be,why is it the blame is left for me.

if this is a dream why cant i wake she is cruel thinkin nothing of the hearts she breaks.

Monday, 2 November 2009

not tonight dear my head is sore and i need to rest.

my heart is broke i just dont know what to say, i thought you could be the one to help me find a cure but now im left outside in the cold knockin on the door of life and lonelyness is my motal enemy creeping behind me everywere i go, i try not to let it get me to see my weakness but it knows to well, and its comin to get me, its comein with every step i hear it gettin closer and closer, they say im bein dramatic but im just bein honest, i know the cold of its bones and i hear the sound of its foot steps as it draws closer to were i rest. i know it wont be long till i can feel its breath on my neck as i try to sleep , but sadly i also know the demons and by there names who keep me awake. tho i dare not say there names to noone, noone must know, and noone must know you knwo i know who they are.

Thursday, 29 October 2009

Lock in grab your posion...........

today as always could be either the first or last day of my life,
my world crumbles and shatters below her boot heels
sadly im a slave to the way she makes me feel,
i need it more then any drug,
a simple she agrees with me or a welcome hug.
though she wont be mine no she wont bring love,
all she does is darken the sky with dout
so i cant see past her and end up lost.
so im lookin for soemthing to replace that feelin,
fill my time and stop me thinkin.
so beg'in the hands of time to stop windin me up with their tick tlock. for every tick i lose her a little more
and for every tock she gets a little futher away from the moment.
For it i would travel,
willin to meet yet unwillin to admite defeat,
good sense of houmour,
but sadly it wont help.

Wednesday, 30 September 2009


you could break the black sky. but your not mine, to far away and not even a call could save me. i dont know why i must need tonight. the drink doesnt numb what this feelin realy is. and so i try and lie but i cant hide it from myself. my pride breaks when im alone, but its not enought and i cant break the black, cant crack the dark, i need and needs must, just one touch and i wait by the wayside till your alone. but thats not me so its me who is alone waitin like a dog for you to throw me a bone, its ok im just going about my day. and thats the way i feel tonight.

Tuesday, 15 September 2009

mixin pain killers as the sleepin tablets have ran out.

lookin for clues serchen for hints,
im down to deep in this muddy trench
lost in hope turnin into the night.
wrapen myself in clouds tight.
im lookin for the ones lost in battels past.
mixin pain killers to make ease and help with nights sleep.
but tonight im really in to deep............

Tuesday, 18 August 2009


naked lady of my arm please lead me from harm,
little do i know your the cause of my disstrest,
i cant rest with the dream of you undressed by my side tonight.
i cant get enought and it isnt your fault, its my own greed i amit.
i cant help but want you, now but who wants me,
im lost at sea and the waves crash causen me to fall,
and tho it hurts me i cant seem to stay away.
your my worse moment and my better day.
but tonight your the evil which keeps me awake
and i cant sleep for thinkin what could be,
could i be for once happy?
take it on the chin tho, maken me think to fast tho,
great idear, tho you seem to be talkin less,
and this is leadin me to think more about what if?
so up and down i cant change the world alone.
im so far from home as the wave causes me to lose balance or was it the nightcap?
and sadly you wont be the one to help me back up.

Wednesday, 29 July 2009


Im over the top,
its hard to stop,
its called the snowball effect,
and sadly its not really a laught.
im sorry i hurt you,
i realy fucked up.
jelous and angry at my own stupid self.
im runnin on empty.
i could be losen my mind,
and the thing which keeps me going
is rembern when she was mine.
but as it is it wont ease the pain,
and tonight i cant face the rain.
i work in a office, its to often to hot.
noone understands me, for it seems im now lost.
its a place called limbo and i need out,
but you could be my helpin hand,
but then again you wont.
and i could forget you,
but tbh your my last hope.
and im holdin on till everyone is gone,
cause everything i love is lost as if someones taken it away.
so what to do and were this ends well who can say?

Saturday, 4 July 2009

another sorry story.

Noone can find u here,
lest not tonite. But i first have to sleep to find here,
but with little faith sadly i lose face, who is that in the mirror tonite?
hopefully me

And a teardrop falls and breaks into a million dimonds
each more beautifull then the last screamin stay with me,
lest let me not wake from this dream,
lest let me pretend,
lest let me hold on five minutes more!

Friday, 3 July 2009

touch me once more.

Its easy for you to say it hasnt gone wrong as you sit on your throne,
while i chew on old bones,
im so dry, im soo old.
so the ringin in my ears is gettin louder,
and the bed grows more uncomfertable,
im drinkin from a empty glass of water
which i supose is good as it doesnt matter if it spills.
i havent got the biggest volcably,
so it means i have have less words to say so much.
but words dont matter really as all i want is your touch.

Tuesday, 19 May 2009

Feelin the end close i lose count, time isnt on my side nor by my side. im alone as always the screen lightin the dark, but not my heart, to long in the cold has made me cold. to old to pretend this will end, things willl get better. nothing ventured nothing gained. im lost in a world of black and feel nothing but pain. it takes my breath it feels like death, its fucked up and i feel i have nothing left. slipin in rivers deep, knifes cut and blood leaks. we could be, you could save. but im not brave enought to fight to find you. im a loser and you can see right through me. ignor me, use me, i need you and to be lost by your side, more then a ride more then before, im sure i can hold on and pretend i never need anymore.


i do, i need so much more and its not you. infact laught out loud, who are you? the devil on my shoulder, im so much older then wise, and still with every fuck up its a surpize, help me out of my wet clothes tonight, i need to help myself i need to fight. but im tired and worn down. high notes and strings keep me from losen, and my final thought isnt worth the brain its thought with but thats ok,

or is it?

who the fuck am i tonight? im so lost i cant fight, so with no fight left the light flickers the end get so much nearer. please dry those tears my dear. we seen it comin but you cant help, and as much as i wish i could reach out, i cant. im just passin time get lower and lower, deeper and deeper. the one who got away is my still flame, its my blame, with out aim who could i be?

Tuesday, 5 May 2009

five more minutes. promise.

Staren at the sun from the bottem of the river, i could feel my last breath leave me.

i could say i felt calm but i haver never known that feeling in my life so i couldnt tell you thats what this feelin was.

and so this stone round my neck sinks deeper then i ever could. but tho thats not to say i wouldnt. well how could you tell what depths you could sink to?

so the sun is like a gold ring, and i chase it for hours, its just out of reach, just a little to far.

five more minuites. just five more...................

so the bottem of the river was suddlen dark. it was on fire with not so much as a goodbye, and still the stone sank. deeper and down. and i left all i loved behind, for it was what i had to do. all i could do, for if you love something you have to let it go, and i let go of you.

no0, five more minutes, just five more, please, five more minutessssss......

i never really known love, never knew my father, my mother worked long hours, or well they seemed long when your young and the world is so new. but thats what can happenin. they take of the love you once knew.

late again fuck sake.

You are the one who got away its ok to like.

if love can make you, then love can break you, and its all i can do.

but tell you over and over again, that its you, its you.............

its you.............................................

your face reminds me of the one who got away and you may wonder how she got away,
well im not the man i wish i was and i let her slip throught fingers the night before.
let the pack lead me, thinkin i missin the best times, but those times were rought,
those times were shit, tbh i was better off in a warm bed insted of dark nights.
but who would of guessed and you remind me of her, she could be you..

you are the one who got away its ok to like.

Tuesday, 28 April 2009

yea im sound, im just worried about you, and how it would of affect you it bein mine

i often wonder bout a little lady, or even a boy, but it jsut isnt me, you see i bearly take care of myself, i can bearly tell the time after to many bottles, i can hardly make it to work with out hittin the five past mark, im not a father figer im more a loose cannon wishin i was someone else but what the haps, its crazy the best bit of me ran down my mothers leg.

Im not keepin it.

Lins says:

E jnr says:

Lins says:
i am not willing to lose robin

E jnr says:
yea i know,

E jnr says:
thats good

Lins says:
r u ok

E jnr says:
yea im sound, im just worried about you, and how it would of affect you it bein mine

Lins says:
there is no way i could have taken that risk

E jnr says:
aye thats cool

Lins says:
the only thing that is worrying me is robin is on msn and u can find him and tell him

E jnr says:
na i wouldnt want to tell him

E jnr says:
iam sayin nothing

Lins says:
y not
E jnr says:

because its none of my bussness, outo f my hands, im not comin between you two, so im standin back.

E jnr says:
you know,

Lins says:
did u want it

E jnr says:
no, i cant even manage to look after myself, i couldnt look after a child

Lins says:
we r going to manchester

Lins says:
its costing nearly 1000

E jnr says:
wouldl ondon not be easyer?

Lins says:
dont know

E jnr says:
you sould check out for london

Lins says:
im really sorry

E jnr says:
no need its ok

Saturday, 11 April 2009

Fluoxetine 20mg part 2.

I'ed sell the confusen on ebay,
give away my darker days and atlest try to forget my past.
but it seems you got me, and when i look i can only glance.
so im taken my time, but your fed up waitin.
and i would hurry up, but i dont know were it is you are.
so im tryin to light the dark,
but its with a heavy heart because the past still hurts.
im tryin to forget the bad days and rember how the good used to feel.
i can do it, i can be the mess so i can be the man im sure i can.
so i listen to the songs on repeat as i repeat
"its jsut another day and another step"
but when i look at you i can only glance.
so i feel the fear and run off for i dont trust chance.
with all the burgeoning feelings and confused emotions of a young adolescent
i could be 16 again when i talk to you....

Fluoxetine 20mg part 1.

I wonder do you see me step out of your way as you pass each day. I could be a dick, i was there first but fuck it i just move and let you pass undistubed.

I go crazy, two buttions undone insted of one, this is what the weekend is all about isnt it?

Wednesday, 1 April 2009

Pretend Look the other way for thats not yours and never will be..

Our love lost in passin smiles
even now iam lost in your eyescome be with me..
If only words were enought
but your waitin on someone else,
o tell me who i can be, to be, with you..
Take the sun the moon take everything,
because without you i dont need a thing..
O cant you see..
Lifeless rooms with dust settled gray
o tell me why do i feel way
so wrong with nothing i can dobut take comfort in you,
here with me..
O am i wrong for feelin the way i do
to be so sore with out a cure,
because its not you, your just waitin to happen like they always do,
so iam just waitin all this life time
for somebody true, maybe settle for something less..
Your beautiful when undressed in my dreams of you..
I only wish i could be,
cause i know so much more could please,
in this life time..
O does everyone feel this way
because you can never be her
and i know iam not him,
but is it not worth a go seein as we might as well be lost together
then alone wishin that we could have the love we once thought was the only thing ever????

fight only to lose for tonite she is less.. how this will end is anyones guess...

As each goes her heart grows a little older
scared of whats to come she holds on a little more.
Each time he leaves her a little less then she sould be..
She loves each as the last only more,
each time wishin he will stay
but in her heart its hard to believe
for they all say they will untill they leave..
But no dout the next will try to save her like the last,
but its hard to hold on to her
when as much as you try she doesnt believe you realy do want her and this is love..
so what next,
give up? Just like she said you would!
give in? And keep up the fight only to slowly lose!

I could understand if you couldnt stand me for a moment or two.

I just wish I could be all you ever needed
I'll give you everything I can if only you could receive it,
and i will try my hardest, even tho my best doesnt seem good enought..
Mybe if you give in and let me love you
and understand ther is no way i would put anyone above you..
So we'll fight the bit out and it will all end in tears,
but tonite i'am all cryed out so its your turn my dear,
we'll run round in circles chasen our tails..
but tonite i will be honest and sayI think you sould put away the scales,
cause i dont care how fat you get, it was your eyes and your smile,
not the size of your dress, but were this will end is anyones guess...

To much to young. To soon to fall..

You know its funny your layin beside mebut feel so far away..

I think i know what your thinkin, but am to scared to say.

So turn off the light, iam feelin shy tonite,

need that dark confidence of shadows and moonlight,

need to feel you undressed by my side,

to feel thats your realy mine under these dark sheets of tonite..

See nothing is forever, but that doesnt stop me wishin this wont be the same,

that a month from now you'll still be calling my name,

that i wont be wishin on a dream.

Cause i know wishin on stars never works, and its hard wishin away the pain,

because in the end i still feel the burn..

See i'am going crazy and what good can it do

I'am nothing without you,

a shadow of what i was.

and feelin empty isnt feelin good,

have you ever felt this feelin?

If not i wish you could,

because you turned from the one who could

to the one that did,

to the one i wish i could forget...

The Endless Nights of Someone Who Needs..

ther's atlest a life time between us,
do you realy need to take all the sheets,
not a heartbreat between us, ther is so much more i need.
so you do your own thing, iam scared of what i will say in my sleep.
its the same thing, just a diffrent week..
the bed used to move in great heat, now all we do is eat, i miss you...
i cant believe its the same person in this bed,
did you realy mean it when you said we would always be together?
now the weathers gettin colder! so what the fuck, its just another sleepless nite...
the walls close in, this is worse then rejection, a slow death of loveless affection..
i cant rest, my mind thinks of what it would be like to play the field..
and how i would make my point, but iam to tired for to even try to get you to let me.
my heads fryed,
to many late nites, to little time, to much to forgive,
this is more then a first love, iam sure this is it but you wont let me,
and now i cant sleep.
and as much as i dont want to iam thinkin of given in, ther you go work away,
iam tryin to hold on but feels liek we have already thrown it all away.
so i kiss your head and wish you peace, the restless sleep of someone who needs..

The First Time

Sorry i just wanted to get to know you and make you smile,
it isnt easy as i wonder whats on your mind and how do you feel?
And are these things you tell me real? If maybe iam talkin to much?
If iam bein to quiet? Iam just tired..
Do i get to excited? Do you think iam a dick?
Do you like what i got you or would nothing be better then this?
Maybe i think to much but atlest iam thinkin about you,
not like them other fellas who all they want to do is fuck anyone who will let them...
maybe i souldnt count the seconds till i see you again,
i sould jsut leave it,
but i cant help it,i wish you knew how much i need it,
but maybe how much is to much and now iam freakin out again..
i jsut wish it was like how it was when we first met,
those were the days, and then again, things no matter how hard you try always change xx..
See here we go again i could tell,
Its the same story,But iam still with you after all..
So i walk off in a huff if only jsut to get you to follow,
and no matter how hard i try now i know all i have told you before is fucked against the wall, your mine, but am i liein, is this realy all its cracked up to be,
you said you would kill your self if i ever left you,
well maybe you would let me love you if you knew how much i need you.
To breath isnt enought, times are gettin so tuff, but shit this is the big one iam in love.....

Saturday, 21 March 2009

What a Life, What a DICK. FOR fuck SAKE..

So well, i went for a date. i didnt know if i liked the girls face (we had met via a daten website, i thought i would give it a try as other means didnt seem to be of much use)and was abit scared of what may be. when we met i thought gosh she doesnt seem so bad atall. so we dander around or well back and forth lookin for somewere to eat(as she wished for wine while we dined) so finly got soemthing, she didnt eat much, bearly anything....

So we went to lavarys for a quiet drink, or well we went for a drink in the v bar first and it wasnt so quiet.. it was £9.15 for a round in the v bar too were in lavarys it was £6.95 which is some saven and i will rember this in future plus the fact you can get a carry out before leaven.

So while in lavarys we chatted away but i think the more we drank the weirder it got, she went to the toilet and i got a text askin me did i like her from her, she came back and didnt speak of the text. but so i thought i will make this my last one im pretty wrecked after a godo few drinks, and she said i'll get another round to which i told her of my plan of just finishin the drinks we had. after this she looked very down. i hate to see a women with such a sad face, so said sure what about another drink and she was liek no its ok just call me my taxie, and i said but look you look so down down, i hate to see you look so down and she was all are you going to see me again and im all yea sure we could do soemthing next week. but so we were leaven and she goes do you want to come back to mine for a drink(its in isl of megee or somewere far far away)so i go aye(why o why? )so we wait for the taxie and she seems really drunk and im thinkin god. so we jump into the taxie and she is all you must know somewere we could get a drink your a taxie man you know dogy places, so he laughts and takes us back to lavarys which has a offy inside. so i get the drink get back in the taxie and we head off. she whispers to me " he is rippin us off!" i look allwhat the fuck??! what is she talkin about, at this point i see she is realy drunk and talkin crazy. so aye the trip there was a melt we get in to the house its freezen..

So to cut a long story short we did do it, and even after it she was rubbin on me and wantin me to go for it again which tbh i wasnt into i just wanted to sleep or to run. tho the funny thing is i was awoke by my phone and it was another girl i had slept with durin the summer or well the endo f the summer, i think she must of been callin for a booty call(i mean you dont phone at 2 in the morrin to see how someone is;-)but yea so to cut a long story short the girl has texted and called me today its really kinda freakin me out and i dont wish to break her heart but i guess there is no way out, i think the line of comin on to strong will be used but fuck me i hate it as its normal me who is gettin dumped so doin the dumpin is hard as i know full well it isnt me its you.

So to end this tail of woe a quote from a poem i have wrote has gone through my head non stop it goes "im breaken hearts at the weekends not caren if they mend" what a life what a dick for fuck sake.

Monday, 16 March 2009

scarey biskets..

i wish i could, the life we knew,
things arnt the same but arnt diffrent,
the mmeories faden fast like pictures left in the sunlight to long.
im holdin on till its gone.
but all i have learnt is how to hurt someone who means the world to ya.
so im tryin to put together the puzzle only to find the bits i need most are missin.
and i know its just a case of i slept in.
one time to many your on my mind.
so lady set me free just for tonight?
let me loose and let me wonder no more.
i dont wish to go over what could happenin,
lets just let it happen.
or not. or maybe.
see this is what you do to me..
forever on my mind it plays tricks on me..
i mean really you and me?
na it could never be,
so i wonder the streets alone thinkin how i can never return home,
i no longer have a home,
im realy lost this time around.

Wednesday, 11 March 2009

I am my mother only child. And tbh we dont get on, well i just dont like her.

you could be my broken bow with no arrow, you could pretend your my friend and clam you'll keep me on the stright and narrow, you could be the wise up and i could be a young pup but tonight your not anywere near what i need and i need so bad it seems.
you could be my rusty knife and fork and we could play kill each other in the dark, i could pretend for a minute i ddint feel paranoid and that i could some how fill this empty void, tho in my heart i know there is no point.

you could be the thrust you could be the end, you could be the thing which helps me, you could be the thing which pushes me over the edge, and i dont wish to offend but it seems i never known friends and now i need forgiven just for liven this isnt liven this isnt life.

you could be my angry wife and i could fuck you over till you leave me then its over and i could pretend i'll change but in our hearts we know its always the same, its a game of blame, blame and blame. so who is to blame? tonight my dear im all cryed out so its your turn i think to cry these tears, i cant undo these years, but im tryin hard, so tired. its a bug going round, im feelin down.

Sunday, 8 March 2009

you cant teach a old dog new tricks but you can love me if you heart is big enought to receive.

i kissed you in my dreams sadly its the only place we still meet.

and i cant get there till i can put my mind at ease.

4 for a 10er and sometimes it feels its all got to much.

i tounched you in my dreams, its took so long to get asleep.

but when i finly got there it was you who woke me up.

i guess you still can be crual cant you luv.

so now im awake once again nothing to count barr the hours.

i want to sleep tho but tbh you already stole my dreams.

im meetin loose women at the weekend

im breaken hearts not caren if they mend.

but lately all i do is wish that i can sleep so i can once again kiss your lips.

i still have your picture. i still rember the feel of your hair.

but i cant sleep, and im soo alone when im there.

the bed is my prison of sleepless nights

wishin i was holdin so tight, wishin things had of gone right. but i cant sleep tonight.

so im tryin to put old ghost to rest but its old ghost that keep me company

its old ghost to cut,

its old ghost who care.

its old ghost to talk to, you arnt here.

so sleepless nights were it ends is anyones guess

a heart beat fills the room were the sleepless rest.

you saved the best for last, and my weakness your on my mind.

unfinished its wrong i hold on you let go, i want more you say no.

but tonights just like every other night

i wont find happyness at a bottem of a glass as much as i try.

im gribin tighter your lettin go, i want more you say no.

you walk by i stop. this isnt liven this is to much.

im thinkin week days your thinkin weekends.

how can i be when you wont let me in.

closed doors hurt, weakness i cant forgive myself.

i've tryed but i cant scratch this itch.

and im lost on your lips and now want nothing more to do with this.

but its got a hold and im weak from to long in this rut im stuck in.

take this note its my last hope that i can win.

Saturday, 7 March 2009

Dont say it if you dont mean it!

Tear stained window stills, im sittin waitin,
my everything torn apart, never had a friend so were is it im suposed to start?
im all heart aka Eddie love me love me j Carter,
im here just waitin.
im not given you second chances,
but i'll give it another go you jsut have to give it the say so.
but im to old to be so bold, im to old to feel so young.
you caught me off gard, you caught me given you a second glance.
but i know second chances are out of the question just like girls i fuck with out protection.
so im pacen the room like animals caught in cages, these rooms see my hiden ragens.
i pretend i dont care what anyone says but inside you got me.
i cant stop it, you caught me looking again.


Well, its took me 28 years but atlast i made it to the dam! amsterdam!! the big smoke! well after what happend in new york i thought to myself gosh what sort of trouble could i get myself into, infact i think the fear of it was maken my eyelid flicker. the sad truth.............

NOTHING, thats right, i smoked two joints in in three nights. all in all im pretty unimpressed by my stay, i think the place has great protental, but its findin the right person to go with to unlock the protental. so better luck next time.

but tho at the same time, i went to the zoo in amsterdam and its left me abit sad i was lookin a monkey right in the eye and for a moment i felt empthy(lol i know i know i do talk some shit!)with it, for a moment i seen i also at times feel like a caged animal(maybe i just went abit stir crazy while there and wished to let loose and go on the town and get crazy to feel i was beonyed the cage(lol god i have such a way with words))with people stairn from the outside(ok i will stop while im ahead), but it was sad to see these beautiful animals caged like that. there was a wee angry monkey who kicked the window which was funny, he had a fight with another monkey.

Saturday, 28 February 2009

Just Nothing.......

you what scares me, is the thought soemoen is going around tellin people bad stuff about me which in turn makes these people dislike me. what scares me more is that i am thinkin this and its really paranoid...........

And then it begins to snowball out of control. and so i just said two things. tho it could be true, couldnt it? i mean you go with a girl who is mad about you at one moment bit of time by herself and she feels nothing for you all of a sudden.. what happend to the plans which were made? the things which were said? its the same with people i rember loadsof people thinkin i was class and all of a sudden its shit, noone calls, noone says fuck all "hi, hello? hellllllllllllloooooooo?" noone home, no reply, no answers why...

Just nothing.... Fuckin nothing......

another night.

So again i make to friday.... Just about, and again i ask myself, who are you tonight?

Do you know? Do you rember?

Were did it all go wrong?

Who are you tonight?

The feelings not right, thats why i guess i ask who are you tonight?

Who i am?

Yea me, who am i?

Young? Bold?

Or realy

Just forgotten and old............................................

I just wish i knew, i wish i could work out. i mean life goes on. noone stops, you could fall i nthe street and people will walk past your side. so im tryin to do the right thing and give a little help but how can i when i cant help myself?

who am i tonight?

lost and alone?

liek a dog with a bone i wont let go of the things which drags me down.

old cuts reopen, im hope but sadly the doors never open.

so who am i tonight? same as tomorrow night...


Monday, 19 January 2009

lol, you thought you were the big lad now your left sad, noone calls, noone texts, so much for friends!

im been with everyone and left with noone.

i didnt think it would be like this, end like this.

im wiatin on you to finish.

i know thats why i left with her.

sure its the not the answer and its not a cure,

its simply a painkiller.

but you teaseed me out of me.

pulled me out of the rut only i was to heavy and i fell back in.

o you fat cunt,

what the fuck have i gotten myself in?

Saturday, 17 January 2009

How do you know if its a cry for help?

So we'll laught untill we bleed,

stare till we are blind,

want to believe,

i dont want to wait no more,

im going to look if only i could see.

and then we laught till we bleed.

Tickin clocks, we sould go out for a drink,

get to know each other a little,

you could be the devil on my shoulder.

and you could lead me astray.

and when i say im going you could beg me to stay.

then we'll laught untill we bleed.

its that time of the month the time when i realy begain to need.

im keepin the curtins open but the day light cant penatrait me.

im lookin but i cant see.

im wishin i was soemone else and you didnt know me.

so then we could meet again and start without history.

and then we could laught untill we bleed.

then we could maybe be ok, be my better days.

you wouldnt burn my tounge,

you wouldnt make me bleed.

cause tonight is just like every other night and my medicen wont help.

and we wont laught but i will bleed.

and as loud as i say it you wont hear it.

so tonight your the knife that slowly turns and i know they talk but i dont want to listen.

i dont wish to know what it is they say cause i fear its the finil nail in the coffin

the last shovel of dirt to keep the secret buried.

the charm which i used to know is long gone

all i have is a stutter and a map to find the disire to hold on.

Thursday, 15 January 2009

It would be shit to miss it. capital letter full stop.

So who are you tonight? Are you happy? Who are you? full stop. capital letter? whats for lunch? i need to feel alive, the problem with bein up is knowin that you can come down at any moment. and youk now its just round the corner the downfall "lest your not drinkin coke! are you ok Eddie?" do i look ok? the clown hides his tears with make up, the heart break is not showin. i know what there thinkin which is what hurts the most as i am what they say and for a moment i wasnt. i was better i was the great. i was on to a future but sadly it was over when you said it was and now im late as always. my clock seems to run five minutes behind. tho i would never be late for you it was right with you and now with out you im lost what can i do?

15000 tickets left for glastonbury. better hurry better be quick cause if i dont get a ticket im pretty much fucked. or well not that bad but it would be shit to miss it.

Wednesday, 7 January 2009

the wee doll.

i'ed give a life time just for a minute of your time.
see time is no use to me when your not here.
when you dont even know me.
hi, i see you everyday going about your day.
but you dont see me your to busy lookin at the ground,
i often wonder what it is you wish to find?
find my broken wings so i can fly again?
find a little time, a little soemthing to free my mind?
but its not me your lookin for as you pass.
for i as much as i wish cant give you the good times you need to exsist.
i cant be the one to ease your burden,
i wouldnt even lightnt your load.
im to old and time has taken my best days away
and now sadly all i have is a smile for you as you pass me everyday.