Wednesday, 27 May 2015

No one belongs here more then you.

Close your eyes and count the stars, you've forgiven me a thousand times, and I'm going to miss a thousand or more kisses your going to give someone else's face. But tonight you can't save, the dark offers no release. And when I look i can only steal glances, that's why I'm a romantic thief

Tuesday, 19 May 2015

A history of Loneliness.

Round in circles chasing my tail, and with everyday a little more frail. Till the cracks grow a little too big. And the things I wished I said are the only things I think. So like a dog with a bone i won't let go, and like a stray dog sadly I don't have a home. Such is life and what do you, the hardest part is admitting it's true.

Tuesday, 5 May 2015



I can't control this..

You share your secrets with the night time, as the feeling gets to much. And you wish you could stop it, because the truth hurts. The darkness is when you should rest but your mind won't stop. You hate the ticking of clocks, and try as you may you cant stop the tick tock. Time passes quick, and not a moment to soon. Cause everything you love always in the end leaves you.

Tuesday, 14 April 2015

in some trouble.

the work place, the modern day straitjacket, dare we breath out? The killer of individualism and brave ideas. Each night grows longer for fear what another day may do or take from my character. I once was a whole person with a shadow, now I am but the shadow. With every night the fight to rest and turn off grows, till all I do is toss and turn till the bed feels not unlike the bare wood of a coffin. while others dream of adventure, I dream of sleeping at ease, if only those dreams would come true. And not even her smile could ease this weight of non existed years i feel.

could be..

Insomnia, insomniac, night times never the best of craic. Ringing ears and growing fears, the room gets warm, the dark gets light, the head gets melted while the heart beats a rhythm of fright. It's little things, the could be's and could not, the people that you used to know and the people you don't.

Cuban fury

i'll hold your hand and your hair back, And we can pretend we're having fun, so we don't have to go somewhere new, and this is the gift i couldn't give to you. A guilty pleasure, too precious, tieing notts in my belly as i know i am going to lose.

Sunday, 12 April 2015

for you need her more then you love her.

Guilty pleasures burn a hole in the soul, Is ok now to shoot my arrow? Dancing the thin line between pleasure and pain. Clip the wings to never fly again. But you know, I could never dance with out you. And time has to have its own way Or so the story goes as i drink too much, And the room starts to spin Could I really of had to much, Or am I just trying to hard to numb the thoughts, Once again.

another lifetime.

The positive thought destroyed by the negative need, the need to need someone who needs me, none of the previous. Close my eyes and perhaps the clouds will pass through me. Dark as burning sugar, a little more then less. And everybody bleeds, but it's anyones guess.

a history of loneliness

Sometimes even dreamers have to wake up, but when you can't sleep it's hard to get up. So another night and it's anyone's guess, less sleep equals more stress and even the best memories seem so far away and tainted with regret. But such is life it's my bed and i made it.

never too much.

The shadows of doom, while your uniform hangs and taunts you, "it should be you, hanging here" it says. I don't know how to reply as I question will i sleep tonight, and can I make it through tomorrow. Every smile hides the dark and were evil lurks. And everyday it gets harder to carry the burden of hurt. But maybe someone will be kind enough to help me to pick up the fragments of a broken heart, but maybe karma thinks other wise.

Tuesday, 17 March 2015

No one to turn too.

It is hard to be a human with twists at every turn, Can't say what your feeling, only feel the burn. Sleep walk the day just so night you can turn and toss. Feeling so greedy at the thought she might be yours. And when your heart calls her bluff, sure You're never good enough. And sadly that's the cost of falling in love.

Friday, 13 March 2015

the x

Sometimes wishing for more, a double bed and a view, these are the riches of the poor. With little less to do, then drink too much and watch the x factor and boo. While holding on for you and waiting too long, these are the riches off the poor. Under nourished of love, you'll never succeed in getting your five a day as your hair greys and the days go quicker. So open your eyes you'll never win her.

when i was young.

Hate the night, the darkness grows, as my bones Sadly feel the cold. I shouldn't worry, i shouldn't care, for this the way i've felt since forever

the brighter nights are coming in.

It is hard to be a human with twists at every turn, Can't say what your feeling, only feel the burn. Sleep walk the day just so night you can turn and toss. Feeling so greedy at the thought she might be yours. And when your heart calls her bluff, sure You're never good enough. And sadly that's just the cost of falling in love.

I might just pop in here on the off chance.

34 years of sadness, Another ache another strain, The kind the medication can't numb, Nor can it be washed away by walking in the rain. So another day useless, A heart that like flowers with out love will wilt and die. And the coldness of another pint doesn't help, But then again its worth a try

Friday, 6 March 2015

push to break

And here is what you could of won, A summer with out sun, A holiday alone, A day in the life with only maybes muttered under your breath. The simple stress a little too much, And just when you think you've got it right That you're the apple of her eye. Another goodbye, Just at the final applause,

Na dont be silly, positive thinking will sort it.

Another day done, chasing dreams though you aren't aloud to run. Who stole the the heat of the sun. The cold aches your bones, your too far from home. And the kiss of a temptress is never enough. You want more then the night time, she was your life line, and the flowers won't fool. The more it hurts the more you pull.

you thought you were onto a winner.

Square peg in a round hole, life lived less with only ticking time slowly destroying your soul. Working weekends and waiting on payday every other day. Living in yesterday wishing today away, only your close to another day off to catch up on you and think maybe you could be something and make some worth, but the dirty dishes always come first. So it's a crime you now pay for your time, leaving you with little worth. Don't see your friends, little amends, and it was your choice for what it's worth. You made your bed, feeling sad as the damp grows in the corner of your soul. Well such is life is what your mother always told you so

Tuesday, 10 February 2015

We possible don't know each other,

The fear of fear, don't ask the question cause you know you don't want to hear, but the here and now as the dreams darken and weight on your chest grows heavy, and i would lift you if i could but at the moment, i'm not feeling so good, myself. And i'm moved but not close enough to hold on for good. so the days are counted down and the feeling of here and now, and the morning is harder to grasp. the emptiness off another temptress. the void of wanting and the wait, till everything that has been before is so far away you really cant believe it was ever here or there as it may of been, your still living believing the time will come to leave your mark, but it is hard to see your mark when you close the curtains and sit in the dark.

Thursday, 29 January 2015

a heart is a useless curse.

i give up my eyes for a blind man to see, and now i cant shake the feelings of dread while i'm laying in my bed,
and Sunday morning is every other day it seems, i'm a drag queen with out the make up and last night i would forget if i could remember enough to forget, but the buzz in the back of my head is the sort that will keep you awake and the sleeping tablets don't dull the ach. and tonight i'm just chancing, i'm dancing if your asking

Past my bed time.

i feel tired, but i dont want to sleep. tonight is tomorrows ghost, and the hurt and heart break are in the post.

A Self medicated life

Life is a strange wonder. I have started 2015 with a positive mind set, and it has started greatly. Though the fear and negative side kicks in and spread like cancer. I acted in like my old self from a long time ago before i lost hope, back when i self medicated with drink, drugs but most of all the thought that love could save me. Sadly one step a head, or even ten steps! head first, into the darkness, the unknown. But weirdly it is the first time in such a long time i have felt in this manner, and as wrong as it is................ IT felt alright. But now to prepare for the funk fall out, be one step a head of the crowd and beat the down by knowing what is coming as it always has come!

the heart ack of self dout.

Sleight of heart, with no trick up my sleeve, the positive thought killed by the negative need. The need to need someone who needs me, with no turning back as I walk into the sea. The moon calls and the clouds part. Call me circus of fools for sharing my heart. And the thing about a broken heart is, sooner or later the pieces are so small it doesn't matter when ever you give, them up, as they can never be fixed, like a jigsaw puzzle missing a piece.