Tuesday, 6 December 2016

If you don't do it I will.

Always a stranger in a strange place, On a knife blade And I'm the one pushing myself off the edge. Troubled by self doubt, Too much time alone, To scared to let it out, But I can't leave it alone. I would follow my dreams But then, I can't sleep, And it's the same merry go round When I'm weak. Burnt myself one time to many, Now I don't warm myself by the fire, Na I learnt to stay away. And my yoke is heavy Or maybe I just got carried away Chasing shadows When will I learn, Sadly like a candle, To shine I have to burn. And melted, as the older I get The more ghosts hunt the bed. And it doesn't really matter, Just forget everything I said.

Thursday, 17 November 2016

I'm dying to live...

My sweetheart the drunk. My darling are you calling? The push and shove, The day today, The feelings you tried to hide, But never went away. More then a inch, She would steal your smile, Leave you waiting, While you hit redial. But it's not you it's me, It's intense, It's over the top, It's a new shirt and your hair done, It's something you can't live without. I tried it believe me, But I can never get too far. Hit the wrong buttons, Just to try to get to know you more. But that is the wrong thing to do, Everyone knows you need to be cruel. Kindness doesn't pay the rent, And your already in the red, The deep end of the pool drowning. And again I've said too much. And again it isn't that spark, Isn't that feeling. And all the other reasons.

Saturday, 12 November 2016


What ever happens I love you, tho I cant find the words to tell you. And that's my mistake. The family pet left to die, i cant help but live a sigh, Every sliver lining has a cloud, And i am to needy for love, To narrow minded for such things as us, The last of the great romantics you wouldnt believe my antics, I killed the best of times with the worse off mind, Some people are born leaders well i was born sorry. And tonight my dear I'm sorry you had to feel the burn.

Tuesday, 8 November 2016


Why so short? Why so sad? Why is it always bad I seem to have? Why doesn't the sun follow the rain? Why are the days grey and always the same? It's funny sweetheart in my sleep I've been, Calling out your name. But the answers are always the same. And in my mind, I do it all different, But the end it's always the same.

The end of the end

I'm looking for a cure. To end this endless battle And try to win this war. But my mind has other ideas. It doesn't care or so it seems. It just wants the easy route To destroy all my dreams.

Tuesday, 18 October 2016

Still something I should try.

I was thinking about over thinking at night And how I can't sleep, Thinking what could of been, What should of been And what could or should I of changed. Too many memories, So many of the worst. Pains me to think and try and recall loved ones and my favourite moments with them, And how would they see me now, How have I changed? Better or worse, Still rocking and trying to chip away at the curse. Some days I feel I'm getting there, others well it could be a worse.

not too happy so i lie

Tomorrow is a new day well so was yesterday at one point, and i dont know if it is just me but the only time i feel excited is when im drunk. im numbing the feeling wishin i could be a normal human being again, but is it to late to fix and make amends? or is yesterday a new day that never came?

Tuesday, 13 September 2016

It's the small crimes, the white lies, The good and bad times, Holding on too long for something which wasn't worth the burden. But I can't help holding on for you, And worse still, to you, worse still what else would I hold on to?

The Crutch i use to cut Myself.

Death is such an unspeakable insult, why can't I be forever. Did you leave the bin out? Wrong night... .. . Still hell to pay, on my phone in a restaurant telling the person on the other end how could it be possible to feel this way? She wanted more then I was willing to give in such a public place, and i just couldn't say about the feelings that wont go away. I couldn't hear too well but I made the most of what I could, answering questions that I could never really tell the truth. The room is in charge, and the light when fully charged turns blue. But then what else can you do? Got to work a way round this, more then a crutch, because there is nothing worse then the feeling when it isn't her that could of been, but wasn't, just passed. I wish I was a better sleeper. I shouldn't take these tablets for a crutch, but then again sleep means so much. Like a lay in, I'm not sleeping. More dancing, no peeking.

Call me Guilty Call me Frail

Travelin for miles with only broken glass in my pockets. my mind splintered, my heart no longer whole, and every hole an own goal. Nothing pure just let go. And who'll phone the taxi cause it's probably time we should go. I don't know if it was real, or really made up. But I'am split in two between the monster and the child that won't grow up. so hurry up the place is empty, were i keep my secrets aplenty. To many memories, and some might say not enough days. But i know you can help me, just promise you won't be mad when i run away

Friday, 12 August 2016

Nicole you saved me maybe, but then again I am far to damaged to bare this.

I've started making more room in the bed, for a lover who's not there. Hugging more than one pillow, funny how quick it turns from cold to hot. and i'm sharing the bed with memories of you. The memories take up all the room, but that is what memories do. The pillows don't hold me back, though the memories do. Need to move on, Need to run, but I can't even make for the door. All I can do is over think.

Am I aloud to live here? Or do I have to go outside?

You take off your make up before you leave so bold, A day on the sofa trying to work out last night's blanks, and unfold. It was a different you a different skin, You could of been anyones for the simple price of a drink. But now afternoon has left you sore and all alone. Not a single memory of how you got home. But it doesn't stop you, while others say it should, But they leave their make up on wishing that they could. And you know Wednesday is a long time till you feel right again, Then the boredom leads to another weekend. They say you should stop and all the things you could do, But they simply don't understand why do the things you do. You grow scared of the message tone, Another reason to hide, But the truth is you made it through another night.

Wednesday, 10 August 2016

Chasing the clown in me

To be myself with nothing else' Throw the clown to the side, Like throwing stones in shallow shores. But no one wonders when i'll be home tonight. And I need to find a way to fix my head without listening to my heart. But there she is at every point. And all it means is another hard day When everyone else is having better fun. And i feel i better run, But better days have came and gone, And old friends no longer say hi. So i wonder would they say goodbye. And could i be myself and all that you need, The need to need someone else, And i could feel the cold from the inside. But the bedcovers are all on your side. And all i want is to be myself, But i forgot myself to be your kind of guy. So tomorrow is almost yesterday. And sometimes even the greatest of painkillers Can't numb this kind;