Why hate ourselves?

 The fine line between

Between being a cunt and insanity.

Sure aren't we all family.

Tbh, it's going to take the man in me.

To say no.

To let those old feelings go.

You have to forgive and let go.

Or let those old things sink your soul.

Like being chained to a rock.

You can't float with a broken heart.

You can't love if you don't release

The feelings thst won't give you peace.

The lines don't help,

The lack of sleep increases

The unhappiness and effects your mental health.

No peace or joy can be found,

When you can no longer appreciate the small

Things in life.

The clouds in the sky,

Birds singing in trees,

Smiling dogs and singing bees.

Media makes us hate ourselves,

But you are beautiful,

You just need to see that.

Life hurts

 No surprises,

Same old brand new you. 

Still fighting those demons, 

Endless sleepless nights. 

Mental health just another tablet. 

And no one calls back.

You've walked everyday 

It's not going to cure

The trauma that's held you hostage

For so long. 

Fresh air doesn't cure

The hurt, 

Being gaslighted 

Thaf your physical being 

Is wrong. 

Made to believe you're not good enough, 

Til you had enough.

The doors don't close over enough

To block out outside. 

We aren't ment to exist in the outside world.

The push and shove. 

With no desire to push back.

Six sessions of counseling 

Isn't going to help any of that. 

The doctor says the meds are all the same, 

So no point changing 

Something that doesn't work.

Something that can't heal the hurt. 

The demons wait

Knowing I never learn. 

The toss and turn. 

The birds don't sing no more. 

The doctors booked up, 

Life hurts. 

Born slipping

 The light shines of the snotty sail trail

From my nose. 

My worse traits exposed. 

My lonely song means nothing. 

No one has time to care 

Just cause you're alone. 

Join the quew, 

Relive the memories 

And overthink everything. 

But you can't change anything. 

You've changed, 

But no one has time to care. 

You try your best but no one's there. 

Slipping in the darkness, 

Keeps you stuck in a rut. 

Past battles stole you

And left you fucked. 

The sniff and booze 

Simple way to stop the pain. 

But it doesn't stop the dark days 

Or the rain. 

Just feels like I was born slipping 

Your skin isn't white like cocaine

 Sitting alone,

One more,

or feel less shit tomorrow.

Sleep,

Or toss and turn?

Eyes closed tight

In hope I'll sleep tonight.

But the buzz hasn't faded enough.

And you can't help crave

Your medicine,

One more for luck.

5 o'clock.

Birds sing as the bed is too hot.

This isn't what you want.

You just wanted one more.

Nose sore.

Wide awake as the dog snores.

Dry mouth,

Mental health.

The tablets don't work,

How can you be happy in this world?

Wear a poppy and support

Genocide,

Cry for white kids,

But it's okay for the brown to die.

And every night you overthink

Maybe it's the world and not you that is sick.?

Don't be angry human

 Sadness is infectious,

The saddest songs become anthems

Of sleepless nights 

And when your heart gets broken. 

You wear a mask 

The happiest care free person

To lift anyone they come in contact with

Up. 

Always a smile when you are around. 

Even though you want to give up. 

The odds are stacked against you. 

The days are dark. 

But making others smile, 

It helps the sadness in your heart. 

Because you never want anyone else 

To feel the way you do. 

So, you push against the weight

To help others through. 

Each other

 The pull and shove,

The things we need 

But not before the things we want. 

Just trying to feel something 

Other then fear and doubt. 

No way out, 

You paid your money

So you better enjoy it

As refunds aren't aloud. 

So we drink to forget, 

Sniff away the nights we don't remember. 

Make friends we don't like, 

And give away our better days. 

Too scared to speak out. 

Too tired to react, 

Too stressed to relax. 

Everything's fuked 

As everyone believes the latest lies

That come from the politician mouth.

Divided in doubt, 

Blame each other 

But never go to the source, 

Never see the big picture. 

Together we could change things, 

But to do thst we need each other. 

The price of milk

 The empty bottles of poison

Sit on the bedside cabinet, 

As a reminder why your head is sore

And you feel the closing in of doom. 

You can't shake it and get out of bed, 

Same old you. 

You seem to have had your spark stolen, 

Or maybe lost it when you were drunk. 

Blocked nose and fuk all in the bank. 

Another month of just getting by. 

Nothing to look forward to, 

Just getting by. 

But you still have something that wants to trt

Do it for the dog, 

Give him more then a average life. 

But in equal measures that hurts to. 

He deserves more, 

Isn't there something you can do? 

Someone to talk to? 

Does anyone care? 

Texting through the night, 

Is anyone there? 

You only live once so pay the price. 

Be honest, or pay the price. 

Big dreamer

 I stopped crying long ago.

The antidepressants numbs

Instead of letting go, 

The cuts don't hurt the same. 

Scratched with a sharp nail. 

TV advertisements for charities 

Don't hit the same, 

Burnt out and only myself to blame. 

Too close to stop, 

A life less ordinary. 

Wait, wait let me tell you another story. 

Runny nose and a dry mouth. 

Not the life I once dreamt about. 

Sure, lest you got the bag to lick. 

Repost?

 What would you say

If I told you. 

I can't connect the dots.

Though maybe I could,

If you would 

Accept

that this 

 isn't any ordinary love.

If you just let it be. 

Don't compare or let other relationships 

Change how you feel. 

My new shirt, my mum bought me for Christmas.

 Sick of this sadness,

Like a heavy weight.

And the sky might be cloudless,

But the dark has already set in.

I said too much,

It's hard to be sure.

But there was no answer

When I knocked at your door.

The last of the last

 I'm scrolling and scrolling,

But nothing is coming up. 

Scrolling my life away, 

And my nose is blocked. 

Message after message, 

But everyone's in bed and no one's up. 

I'll probably not sleep, 

And my nose is blocked. 

My chest is feeling the pump pump. 

My heart needs a rest

But my mind is made up. 

I don't know what to do with my time, 

I'm fed up. 

Everything is boring, 

So the scrolling is my only thing

And I'm so broke I can't even pay attention 

I think I'm maybe fuked up. 

You can't win them all.

 You can't win them all,

As much as you try. 

The more times you lose, 

The more it hurts, 

The more it plays on your mind. 

The more you can't find any excuse, 

It's definitely not them, 

It's you. 

It's not you, 

It's me. 

Hunched in the corner, 

Face lit by the TV. 

Up too late, 

But you can't sleep. 

You tried keeping your eyes closed. 

Not even opening them a peep. 

But somethings wrong, 

So you put on you tube and the sadest songs. 

Let them burn, 

When you aren't feeling strong. 

When everything is wrong. 

Dark and longer

 sleight of heart, 

A losing hand, a darkness, 

Cancer of the the soul, 

Spread sheets and work demands, 

Cut backs and a need to need, 

Till you forget the small things 

And everything feels wrong. 

You could of been a contender, 

Ecerybody's blue eyed boy, 

Open doors and pull out chairs, 

Brought up right in the wrong time, 

But you know what? 

I do all my own stunts, 

And that is easy to forget, 

Leaves me holding a little tighter 

To broken pieces. 

The days get shorter, 

Till you can't face the freeze of the passing breeze, 

Can't hack the cold and dark of the morning

As the trees lose their leafs, 

Stole by the passing wind, 

The nights last forever.  

It doesn't make a difference 

That the clocks go back, 

The best days have left, 

And I'm having another panic attack. .